Mass-murderers are simply people who have had ENOUGH.
I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.
God, from whose territory I had withdrawn my ambassadors at the age of fourteen. It had become obvious that he was never going to do a thing I said.
What better proof of love can there be than money? A ten-shilling note shows incontrovertibly just how mad about you a man is.
What's the matter, sexy? Don't you like dehydrated fruit? (To handsome young man on the street)
I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
Other-cheekism is not only a way of purifying the soul, it is also part of every weak person's survival kit.
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
I read all the books I could find about manners, and the extraordinary thing was, in all books up to the end of the Second World War, most were directed at how to comport yourself in the presence of the ladies.
Sometimes I wore a fringe so deep it obscured the way ahead. This hardly mattered. There were always others to look where I was going.
A gentleman doesn't pounce he glides. If a woman sits on a piece of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one.
Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
Assoon as I stepped out of my mother's womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
It's a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.
I take it to be axiomatic that people are revolted by witnessing the shameless gratification of an appetite they do not share.
The idea that He would take his attention away from the universe in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds is just so unlikely I can't go along with it.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.
I had a friend who had two degrees of being made up: when invited I would say 'Can I make up?' and he would say 'Oh yes -- tinted?', or he would say, 'Oh yes -- clotted?'
If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.
Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone- but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.
Vice is its own reward.
Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it.
The distinction between indoors and outdoors, which in England is usually so marked, was temporarily suspended in a hot gauzy haze.
To my disappointment I now realized that to know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.
Every day someone notices me and waves to me, or stops and speaks to me, or asks me for an autograph, or photographs me.
Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically -- for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist -- but then what isn't?
I don't hold with abroad and think that foreigners speak English when our backs are turned.
It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.
Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
The proprietor had hair so red that pigmentation had flowed out into every visible inch of his skin and even into the pinks of his eyes, as the colour of flowering cherry trees stains their leaves.
Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.
If one is not going to take the necessary precautions to avoid having parents, one must undertake to bring them up.
The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.
What I wanted most of all was to use sex as a weapon to allure, subjugate, and, if possible, destroy the personality of others.
This woman did not fly to extremes; she lived there.
The Scots are very hospitable; almost as hospitable as the Americans.
In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
Exhibitionists have no friends, no friends at all.
It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom; it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom.
Posing was the first job I did in which I understood what I was doing.
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, "I wish you hadn't made every line funny. It's so depressing.
Nothing in our culture, not even home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress.
Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
Did you know that Allah promises you a seat in Paradise if you kill a Christian?
Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.
Even a monotonously undeviating path of self-examination does not necessarily lead to self-knowledge. I stumble towards my grave confused and hurt and hungry.
Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever.
Women have decided to be people, which is a great mistake. Women were nicer than people.
I found that I had become so spinsterish that I was made neurotic not only by my life of domesticity but by the slightest derangement of my room. I would burst into a fit of weeping if the kettle was not facing due east.
Nearly always when actors are approached by the beauticians, they try to avoid the dabs that the beauticians put on their faces. They dodge them.
Everyone who is honest is interesting.
You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
I stay in one room, and it's easier to live there, to control it, to make it warm. It seems to me a convenient way to live, and it's cheap.
Without an element of vulgarity, no man can be a work of art...I have to try and think what an artist is, apart from a hooligan who cannot live within his income of praise.
Manners are love in a cool climate.
I never understood music. It seemed to me to be the maximum amount of noise conveying the minimum amount of information.
Exhibitionism is like a drug. Hooked in adolescence I was now taking doses so massive they would have killed a novice.
The more people one has to love, the more one's capacity to love stretches.
It may be true that artists adopt a flamboyant appearance, but it's also true that people who look funny get stuck with the arts.
If you don't stay in some days, you can't recharge your batteries.
Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it.
As someone remarked, when told the new atomic bombs would explode without a bang, "they can't leave anything alone."
Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they must airily pass by a stinking mess with barely so much as a nod of the head, make their point of constructive criticism and continue on in calm forbearance. Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
I don't believe in convention at all. I do what I have to do to stay alive.
All liaisons between homosexuals are conducted as though they were between a chorus girl and a bishop. In some cases both parties think they are bishops.