Inspiration and wisdom from divine felines

745 Inspiring Quotes by Terry Pratchett

  • Last updated Jul 27 2021

Welcome to our collection of quotes by Terry Pratchett.

Wikipedia Summary for Terry Pratchett

Sir Terence David John Pratchett (28 April 1948 – 12 March 2015) was an English humorist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.

Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.

Pratchett, with more than 85 million books sold worldwide in 37 languages, was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.

In December 2007, Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust, filmed a television programme chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron for Alzheimer's Research UK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, aged 66.



sunset

It wasn't the wearing of the hat that counted so much as having one to wear. Every trade, every craft had its hat.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow and white painted wall

But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.

--Terry Pratchett

black wooden louver door window

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.

--Terry Pratchett

body of water surrounded with plants under cloudy sky

I reckon responsible behavior is something to get when you grow older. Like varicose veins.

--Terry Pratchett


green and white bird on black wire during daytime

Vimes awoke with a noseful of camel. There are far worse awakenings, but not as many as you might think.

--Terry Pratchett

coconut tree near body of water

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.

--Terry Pratchett


photo of giraffe

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu... was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white abstract painting

This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier.
(Except that of course you can't have a final frontier, because there'd be nothing for it to be a frontier to, but as frontiers go, it's pretty penultimate ...)

--Terry Pratchett

black bird flying on white background

Rings try to find their way back to their owner. Someone ought to write a book about it.

--Terry Pratchett

five children sitting on bench front of trees

You can never have too much backup.

--Terry Pratchett

Dark purple to red to orange gradient

The wizards were good at wind, weather being a matter not of force but of lepidoptery. As Archchancellor Ridcully said, you just had to know where the damn butterflies were.

--Terry Pratchett


blue and white abstract painting

I had a deprived childhood, you see. I had lots of other kids to play with and my parents bought me outdoor toys and refused to ill-treat me, so it never occurred to me to seek solitary consolation with a good book.

--Terry Pratchett

closeup photography of brown and gray concrete bricks

Imagination is only intelligence having fun. A healthy mind knows how to switch between worlds, and which one you need to eat and sleep in.

--Terry Pratchett


person holding white and yellow flower painting

I've got wide tastes, but I don't like jazz.

--Terry Pratchett

couple sitting near trees during golden hour

The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other.

--Terry Pratchett

bird in the sky

Granny Weatherwax believes the world is all about stories. Oh well, we all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and blue light illustration

Things just happen, one after another. They don't care who knows. But history... ah, history is different. History has to be observed. Otherwise it's not history. It's just... well, things happening one after another.

--Terry Pratchett

mountains under starry sky during nighttime

The man gave Dodger a cursory glance that had quite a lot of curse in it.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of tall trees

I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?

--Terry Pratchett

purple flowered hedge plants

It was a fine summer morning, the kind to make a man happy to be alive. And probably the man *would* have been happier to be alive. He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile in close up photography

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

--Terry Pratchett

raging waves through shores

But there's magic too. You'll pick that up. It don't take much intelligence, otherwise wizards wouldn't be able to do it.

--Terry Pratchett

2 people riding on boat during sunset

We're really good at it, Teppic thought. Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.

--Terry Pratchett

black and white bird on seashore

I think it does Discworld good if I don't write about it all the time: sometimes you have to get it out of your system.

--Terry Pratchett

full moon in the sky

It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people the people who made up the phrase "people are people everywhere" had traditionally thought of as people.

--Terry Pratchett

white ceramic mug with coffee on brown wooden table

When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.

--Terry Pratchett

castle surrounded fog

Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.

--Terry Pratchett

red flame

When Reacher Gilt talks about freedom, he means his, not anyone else's.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.

--Terry Pratchett

green tree under blue sky during night time

If anyone locked me in a dungeon, there'd be screams.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white striped textile

The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a Black Hole that knows how to read.

--Terry Pratchett

red and yellow abstract painting

Look, the life of gnomes and goblins is nasty, brutish and short. So are they.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

Brighten up the world like a little sunbeam.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape rocks

Well, it would have to be "The Man Who Was Thursday." It's a damn good read that I believe should be read by everyone in politics.

--Terry Pratchett

gray cactus plant on white pot

You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage.

--Terry Pratchett

white pendant lamp

The Kappamaki, a whaling research ship, was currently researching the question: How many whales can you catch in one week?

--Terry Pratchett

time lapse photography body of water

What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out.

--Terry Pratchett


flock of birds flying under blue sky during daytime

Everything happens for a reason, except possibly football.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow flower field under clear sky

This was, after all, Ankh-Morpork, where a man walked free even if he was not, strictly speaking, a man.

--Terry Pratchett

green trees in between gray concrete road

There was silence in the square, except for the sound of several thousand people being astonished.

--Terry Pratchett


green ceramic mug on wooden desk

Ankh-Morpork, the melting pot of the world, which occasionally runs foul of lumps that don't melt.

--Terry Pratchett

selective photography of green leaf plant

Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.

--Terry Pratchett

None

The space between the young reader's eyeballs and the printed page is a holy place and officialdom should trample all over it at their peril.'.

--Terry Pratchett

None

The year was past the edge, heading away from the dark... Of course, dark would come again, but that was in the nature of the world. Many things were beginning.

--Terry Pratchett

fawn pug in close up photography

If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.

--Terry Pratchett

three clear drinking glasses with brown liquid

There is always time for another last minute.

--Terry Pratchett

person holding white book

It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases -- one was Alzheimer's, and the other was knowing I had Alzheimer's.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow flower field under clear sky

One of my predecessors used to have people torn to death by wild tortoises. It was not a quick death.

--Terry Pratchett

moon near mountain ridge

He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.

--Terry Pratchett

pair of white lace-up shoes

I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.

--Terry Pratchett

cluster of stars in the sky

Like any sensible witch, she wore strong boots that could march through anything--good, sensible boots.

--Terry Pratchett

trees under blue sky and stars during nighttime photo

Be one of the crowd? It went against everything a wizard stood for, and a wizard would not stand for anything if he could sit down for it, but even sitting down, you had to stand out.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile in close up photography

The important thing about adventures, thought Mr. Bunnsy, was that they shouldn't be so long as to make you miss mealtimes.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of a person during sunset

It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are the main thing. If they are on the other side then this is a valuable bonus.

--Terry Pratchett

snow mountains under nightsky

Given enough coffee I could rule the world.

--Terry Pratchett

purple textile in close up photography

No one knew where you were before you were born, but when you were born, it wasn't long before you found you'd arrived with your return ticket already punched.

--Terry Pratchett

gray concrete floor

The only superstition I have is that I must start a new book on the same day that I finish the last one, even if it's just a few notes in a file. I dread not having work in progress.

--Terry Pratchett

elephant on green grass field during daytime

There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise.

--Terry Pratchett


assorted books on wooden table

It doesn't stop being magic just because you know how it works.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Wizards! They talked too much and pinned spells down in books like butterflies but, worst of all, they thought theirs was the only magic worth practicing.

--Terry Pratchett

rock formation under starry skies

People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.

--Terry Pratchett

desert grassland

If there's one thing that really annoys a god, it's not knowing something.

--Terry Pratchett

sunflower with clear glass vase on gray table

He hated weapons, and not just because they'd so often been aimed at him. You got into more trouble if you had a weapon. People shot you instantly if they thought you were going to shoot them.

--Terry Pratchett

Longer Version:

He hated weapons, and not just because they'd so often been aimed at him. You got into more trouble if you had a weapon. People shot you instantly if they thought you were going to shoot them. But if you were unarmed, they often stopped to talk. Admittedly, they tended to say things like, "You'll never guess what we're going to do to you, pal," but that took time. And Rincewind could do a lot with a few more seconds. He could use them to live longer in.


brown and red paint brushes

Just because something is a metaphor doesn't mean it can't be real.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of person wearing cowboy hat during sunset

Fantasy is uni-age. You can start it in the creche, and it follows you to death.

--Terry Pratchett

snow-covered mountain near lake under blue sky

He's out of his depth on a wet pavement.

--Terry Pratchett


sunset

Multiple exclamation marks,' he went on, shaking his head, 'are a sure sign of a diseased mind.

--Terry Pratchett




white printer paper on brown wooden table

Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was.

--Terry Pratchett

girl and boy figurines

As far as I'm concerned, I'm a writer who's writing books, and therefore, I don't want to die. You'd miss the end of the book, wouldn't you? You can't die with an unfinished book.

--Terry Pratchett

black dragonfly perched on green grass in close up photography during daytime

It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what they think is there.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of mountain

How can anyone trust scientists? If new evidence comes along, they change their minds.

--Terry Pratchett

green plant in tilt shift lens

We've got a lot of experience of not having any experience.

--Terry Pratchett

bird's eye view photography of trees and body of water

At least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe.

--Terry Pratchett

white brick wall planning

It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.

--Terry Pratchett

person in black top carrying brown wicker basket

The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.

--Terry Pratchett

milky way wallpaper

Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!

--Terry Pratchett

green fern plant

Insanity is catching.

--Terry Pratchett

tall green flowering grasses under blue and white cloudy sky

I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!

--Terry Pratchett

body of water under blue sky during daytime

It looked the sort of book described in library catalogues as 'slightly foxed,' although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well.

--Terry Pratchett

None

It's not Brits who think American readers are a bunch of whinging morons with the geo-social understanding of a wire coathanger, it's American editors.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places.

--Terry Pratchett

None

All dwarfs are by nature dutiful, serious, literate, obedient and thoughtful people whose only minor failing is a tendency, after one drink, to rush at enemies screaming "Arrrrrrgh!" and axing their legs off at the knee.

--Terry Pratchett


brown and gray floral textile

The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of praying man

Everyone's heard of Erwin Schrodinger's famous thought experiment. You put a cat in a box with a bottle of poison, which many people would suggest is about as far as you need to go.

--Terry Pratchett

white tulips with green leaves

My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.

--Terry Pratchett

Longer Version:

My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.
My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.


blue and white painted wall

If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets.

--Terry Pratchett

None

"You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day."

--Terry Pratchett

Longer Version:

You are very clever,' said the old man shyly. 'I would like to eat your brains, one day,' For some reason the books of etiquette that Daphne's grandmother had forced on her didn't quite deal with this. Of course, silly people would say to babies, 'You're so sweet I could gobble you all up!', but that sort of nonsense seemed less funny when it was said by a man in war paint who owned more than one skull. Daphne, cursed with good manners, settled for, 'It's very kind of you to say so.


person wearing red running shoe

You know I've never agreed with baths. Sittin' around in your own dirt like that.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine -- once. Like the Borg, they learn.

--Terry Pratchett

mountain dew during sunrise

People are often so busy living that they never stop to wonder why.

--Terry Pratchett

blue sky with white clouds

He was, he would be the first to admit, a coward, an incompetent, and not even very good at being a failure.

--Terry Pratchett

cup of latte on table

When in doubt, choose to live.

--Terry Pratchett

man raising arms between greenfield

No. Men should die for lies. But the truth is too precious to die for.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of person's hands forming heart

Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!

--Terry Pratchett

castle surrounded fog

Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.

--Terry Pratchett

cosmic view during night time

The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well.

--Terry Pratchett

shallow focus photography of books

When you break rules, break 'em good and hard.

--Terry Pratchett

birds flying under cloudy sky during daytime

His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and white light illustration

Then there is the dress. It has been owned by many sisters as well and has been taken up, taken out, taken down, and taken in by her mother so many times that it really ought to have been taken away.

--Terry Pratchett

brown rocky mountain under blue sky during daytime

I express preference for a chronological sequence of events which precludes a violence.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and white humming bird

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

--Terry Pratchett

snow covered pine trees

And the words people said were just shadows of real things. But some things were too big to be really trapped in words, and even the words were too powerful to be completely tamed by writing.

--Terry Pratchett

bird's eye view of desert

Ordinary fortune-tellers tell you what you want to happen; witches tell you what's going to happen whether you want it to or not. Strangely enough, witches tend to be more accurate but less popular.

--Terry Pratchett


forest at sunset

Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants -- the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl.

--Terry Pratchett

couple sitting near trees during golden hour

Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms: in the dark and based on bullshit.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white abstract painting

Demons were like genies or philosophy professors if you didn't word things exactly right, they delighted in giving you absolutely accurate and completely misleading answers.

--Terry Pratchett

person wearing red running shoe

People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way around.

--Terry Pratchett

None

New things, new ideas arrived and strutted their stuff and were vilified by some and then lo! that which had been a monster was suddenly totally important to the world.

--Terry Pratchett


forest trees photograph

I grow as many of our vegetables as I can, because my granddad was a professional gardener, and it's in the blood.

--Terry Pratchett

forest at sunset

If, somewhere, any possible world can exist, then somewhere there is any letter that could possibly be written. Somewhere, all those checks really were in the mail.

--Terry Pratchett

A white stripe pattern made up of concrete facade ribs

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.

--Terry Pratchett


yellow painted wall

What's the orbital velocity of the moon?

--Terry Pratchett

brown sands

No normal sheet of paper could possibly trace their family tree, which in any case was more like a mangrove thicket.

--Terry Pratchett

green and white painted wall

Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.

--Terry Pratchett

white and blue building under clear sky

The wizards were civilized men of considerable education and culture. When faced with being inadvertently marooned on a desert island they understood immediately that the first thing to do was place the blame.

--Terry Pratchett


None

When you read, I'm sure you don't realize that your eyes are going backwards and forwards and to this place and that place. Mine don't do that.

--Terry Pratchett

green water in close up photography

We're a dying race," said Kwartz sadly, as the party set off under the stars. "Young Jasper's the only pebble in our tribe. We suffer from philosophy, you know.

--Terry Pratchett

flowers beside yellow wall

Mort... had about the same talent for horticulture that you would find in a dead starfish.

--Terry Pratchett

flat lay photography of several hanging ornaments

If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.

--Terry Pratchett

brown rocky mountain under gray sky

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape pines

You're just as dead if you fall from forty feet as you are from four thousand fathoms, that's what I say.

--Terry Pratchett

white stars cutout on black surface with red string

Cats, Dog considered, were clearly a lot tougher than lost souls.

--Terry Pratchett

blue sky with white clouds

I think you should be proud of not being worse than just deeply introverted and socially maladjusted.

--Terry Pratchett

sunflower with sunglasses under blue sky during daytime

And never resist a perfect moment.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white abstract painting

On a million hillsides the girl ran, on a million bridges the girl chose, on a million paths the woman stood...
All different, all one.
All she could do for all of them was be herself, here and now, as hard as she could.

--Terry Pratchett

snow covered brown mountain

It was like ... like wizardry, but without the wizards and the mess.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of person standing beside bare tree under stary sky

All the higher life forms scythed away, just like that... Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.

--Terry Pratchett

leafless tree on body of water during daytime

There are times when the best writing you can do is to go for a walk or drive, a long drive is ideal.

--Terry Pratchett

green-leafed trees during daytime

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset with storm clouds

Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers!" She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: "Socks wi'oot feets?

--Terry Pratchett

purple lavender flower

You couldn't be a real copper in Ankh-Morpork and stay sane. You had to care. Anda caring in Ankh-Morpork was like opening a tin of meat in the middle of a piranha school.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow and white painted wall

You couldn't escape the pointy hat, though. There was nothing magical about a pointy hat except that it said that the woman underneath it was a witch. People paid attention to a pointy hat.

--Terry Pratchett

red and yellow abstract painting

It's useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.

--Terry Pratchett

pink flower

I could be wrong. Not being certain is what being a philosopher is all about.

--Terry Pratchett

landscape photography of green tree

I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.

--Terry Pratchett

None

You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree." One of the giants grinned at him. Druellae snorted. "Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?

--Terry Pratchett

man and woman kissing

Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.

--Terry Pratchett

None

The universe, they say, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and bloody-mindedness.

--Terry Pratchett

green leaf

Cheese? But you…you could do anything you wanted!" Roland burst out. "And right now I want to make cheese," said Tiffany calmly.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and gray stick

So, mistletoe, in fact, symbolizes mistletoe.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives.

--Terry Pratchett

girl leaning on wall during daytime

The city's full of people who you just see around.

--Terry Pratchett

lightning strike at night

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

--Terry Pratchett

selective focus photography of orange and beige butterfly on purple flowers

Filling what's empty and emptying what's full.

--Terry Pratchett

brown wooden dock under night sky

Anyway, I'm a bit worried about the screw. It was invented to move water along, not move along on water.'
‘You mean it's confused?' said Simony.
‘Screwed up,' said Didactylos happily.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and white bird on tree branch

Falling isn't so bad, you know. It's only the landing that hurts.

--Terry Pratchett

two women making peace sign near the Golden Gate bridge

'Don't think of it as dying,' said Death. 'Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.'

--Terry Pratchett

photography of yellow petaled flowers field

We live and learn, or, perhaps more importantly we learn and live.

--Terry Pratchett

green and red flowers

Oh, where are my manners? Do sit down. Pull up a small child.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow and red color textile

'Discworld' is taking something that you know is ridiculous and treating it as if it is serious, to see if something interesting happens when you do so.

--Terry Pratchett

pink petaled flowers under trees at daytime

I don't think about the end game. I've got lots to occupy my mind. It's the rage that keeps me going.

--Terry Pratchett

bird in the sky

Nature abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the Marie Celeste, and the chuck keys for electric drills.

--Terry Pratchett

blue sky and white clouds

Crowley thumped the wheel. Everything had been going so well, he'd had it really under his thumb these few centuries. That's how it goes, you think you're on top of the world, and suddenly they spring Armageddon on you.

--Terry Pratchett

pink-petaled rose flower

Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.

--Terry Pratchett

man riding on boat on body of water

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

--Terry Pratchett

two dragonflies on green cornate leaf

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

--Terry Pratchett

brown wooden board

The words echoed around the cavern and broke through mere rock, so great was the force behind them, melted mere mountains, screamed across the miles.

--Terry Pratchett

silver round analog wall clock

Some people think this is paranoia, but it isn't. Paranoids only think everyone is out to get them. Wizards know it.

--Terry Pratchett

orange and white stone fragment

And our lady friend, she thinks life works like a fairy tale.' Well, that's harmless, isn't it?' Yeah, but in fairy tales, when someone dies... it's just a word.

--Terry Pratchett

crescent moon above mountain

The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.

--Terry Pratchett


purple petaled flower on gray surface

Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enough words together they can bend space and time.

--Terry Pratchett

None

In front of her the cat Greebo, glad to be home again, lay on his back with all four paws in the air, doing his celebrated something-found-in-the-gutter impersonation.

--Terry Pratchett

black textile in close up photography

It is said that the Devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers.

--Terry Pratchett

leafless tree

Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile in close up photography

I mistrust the term graphic novel because it sounds like a good thing to put on a tee-shirt. That's why the French like them.

--Terry Pratchett

bonfire in forest

Theres no stink more sorrorful than the stink of wet, burnt paper. It means: the end.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of stones during golden hour

What's a philosopher?' said Brutha. Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of mountains under blue sky during daytime

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

--Terry Pratchett

green lizard

Even the blind and meek and voiceless have gods.

--Terry Pratchett

sliced lemon on pink surface

I don't really plan. I'm almost intuitive about things.

--Terry Pratchett

lake beside green pine trees

He didn't administer a reign of terror, just the occasional light shower.

--Terry Pratchett

empty brown concrete stairs beside green grass under starry sky long-exposure photography

Perhaps the magic would last, perhaps it wouldn't. But then again, what does?

--Terry Pratchett

blue sky and white clouds

Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become.

--Terry Pratchett

black mountain under blue sky during night time

Let grammar, punctuation, and spelling into your life! Even the most energetic and wonderful mess has to be turned into sentences.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

Magic never dies. It merely fades away.

--Terry Pratchett

black and white abstract illustration

The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated.

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed plant

Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them.

--Terry Pratchett

red and white led lighted heart decor

You want a special truth. *You* want the truth to be a truth that *you* like. You want it to be a pretty little truth that fits what you already believe!

--Terry Pratchett

None

I would rather stare at the wall for half an hour than watch an episode of any of the 53,801 Australian soap operas now cluttering up UK TV.

--Terry Pratchett


silhouette of elephant on brown sand during sunset

Most modern fantasy just rearranges the furniture in Tolkien's attic.

--Terry Pratchett


None

There was no safety. There was no pride. All there was, was money. Everything became money, and money became everything. Money treated us as if we were things, and we died.

--Terry Pratchett

white sand under white sky

All he had was nothing, but that was something, and now it had been taken away.

--Terry Pratchett

white desk lamp beside green plant

These weren't cheap modern books; these were books bound in leather, and not just leather, but leather from clever cows who had given their lives for literature after a happy existence in the very best pastures.

--Terry Pratchett


milky way wallpaper

He glanced at the sun which, old professional that it was, chose that moment to drop below the horizon.

--Terry Pratchett

view of mountaintops with clouds

Although the scythe isn't pre-eminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants' revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome.

--Terry Pratchett

blue wall

Rincewind gave his fingers a long shocked stare, as one might regard a gun that has been hanging on the wall for decades and has suddenly gone off and perforated the cat.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette photo of mountain during night time

"Ach, people are always telling us not to do things" said Rob Anybody, "that's how we ken the most interesting things to do."

--Terry Pratchett

snow covered mountain under blue sky during daytime

A metaphor is a kind o' lie to help people understand what's true.

--Terry Pratchett

time lapse photography of fire

Do not act incautiously when confronting a little bald wrinkly smiling man!

--Terry Pratchett

forest with tall and green trees during daytime

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

--Terry Pratchett

man in blue tank top holding green and black skateboard

It's like chess, you know. The Queen saves the King.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow sunflower under blue sky during daytime

They can ta'k our lives but they can never ta'k our freedom!' Now there's a battle cry not designed by a clear thinker.

--Terry Pratchett

black dog face

The second mouse gets the cheese!

--Terry Pratchett

city lights from hill

Just to keep bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

--Terry Pratchett

man and woman kissing

The IQ of a mob is the IQ of its dumbest member divided by the number of mobsters.

--Terry Pratchett

girl pulling the collar of dog during daytime

Look out! He's got a daisy!

--Terry Pratchett

yellow flower field during sunset

Life is a trick, and you get one chance to learn it.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow flower field near bare trees during daytime

Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.

--Terry Pratchett

aerial photography of beach

Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.

--Terry Pratchett

cloudy sky

I thought jet planes were just trucks with more wings and less wheels.

--Terry Pratchett

brown wooden bridge beside green leafed trees during daytime

Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

--Terry Pratchett

blue sky with white clouds

People are bound to get excited when they see a ten-million-ton starship trying to fly down the street.

--Terry Pratchett

close-up photo of two men shaking hands near beach at sunset

Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?

--Terry Pratchett

selective-focus photograph of gray bird on tree branch

I have to find the edge of the envelope and put my stamp on it.

--Terry Pratchett

castle surrounded fog

Yes, but nomes aren't hard to make," said Dorcas. "You just need other nomes." "You're weird.

--Terry Pratchett

black dog photography

So much universe, and so little time.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white abstract painting

It took place in the midnight in the University's Great Hall, in a welter of incense, candlesticks, runic inscriptions and magic circles, none of which was strictly necessary but which made the wizards feel better.

--Terry Pratchett

water on seashore

She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.

--Terry Pratchett

low-angle photo of white daisy

You Say To People 'Throw Off Your Chains' And They Make New Chains For Themselves?

--Terry Pratchett

coconut tree near body of water

We are as gods to beasts of the field. We order the time of their birth and the time of their death. Between times, we have a duty.

--Terry Pratchett

rainbow desert

If you were going to be successful in the world of crime, you needed a reputation for honesty.

--Terry Pratchett

body of water surrounded with plants under cloudy sky

Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them.

--Terry Pratchett


green ceramic mug beside book

You had to hand it to the Patrician, he admitted grudgingly. If you didn't, he sent men to come and take it away.

--Terry Pratchett

band performing on stage in front of people

'Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.'

--Terry Pratchett

woman standing on forest

What's all this about? How does it work? What should I do? What am I for?

--Terry Pratchett

red and yellow abstract painting

"What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed tree on body of water under starry sky

Many an ancient lord's last words have been, 'You can't kill me because I've got magic aaargh.'

--Terry Pratchett

black and blue starry night

It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

Rincewind had in any case seen his past life flash in front of his eyes so many times that he could sleep through the boring bits.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

And what would humans be without love?"
RARE, said Death.

--Terry Pratchett

green trees on brown soil

I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of three people up on mountain cliff

Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know them.

--Terry Pratchett

pink petaled flowers under trees at daytime

His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

--Terry Pratchett

three people paddling in canoe

All property is theft, except mine.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

He said that there was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn't happen to you every year.

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed tree on snowfield under white cloudy sky at daytime

I was a very keen reader of science fiction.

--Terry Pratchett


sunset

People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it.

--Terry Pratchett

old cowboy boots

I wouldn't trust you with a bucket of water if my knickers were on fire!

--Terry Pratchett

jellyfish under water photo

I'm ... not sure yet. But I've seen Dorfl around. He's always seemed a very gentle person."
"It works in a slaughterhouse!"
"Maybe that's not a bad place for a gentle person to work, sir" said Carrot.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Perhaps it was the spell, in its years of living in Rincewind's head, that affected his eyes. Perhaps his time with Twoflower, who only saw things as they ought to be, had taught him to see things as they are.

--Terry Pratchett

grayscale photography of elephant

Money is all you can think about when all you have is a price, Carrot said.

--Terry Pratchett

Bryce Canyon National Park Sunrise Point at Utah

He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.'

--Terry Pratchett

grayscale photography of elephant

If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.

--Terry Pratchett

red and black floral textile

The beef stew tasted, indeed, just like beef stew and not, just to take an example completely and totally at random, stew made out of the last poor girl who'd worked here.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing.

--Terry Pratchett

white wall paint with black shadow

The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the last date shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Don't you understand?" snarled Rincewind. "We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!" "Can't we do anything about it?" "No!" "Then I can't see the sense in panicking," said Twoflower calmly.

--Terry Pratchett


black pug puppy

After all, if you can't trust governments, whom can you trust?

--Terry Pratchett



The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

--Terry Pratchett

white pendant lamp

His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability which affects all too few.

--Terry Pratchett

None

A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.

--Terry Pratchett

close-up photo of two men shaking hands near beach at sunset

The problem is, people only think for themselves if you tell them to.

--Terry Pratchett

blue, white, and pink petaled flowers on gray surface

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, "The mountain is, and is not." They would think, "The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.

--Terry Pratchett

None

If you really want to upset a witch, do her a favor which she has no means of repaying. The unfulfilled obligation will nag at her like a hangnail.

--Terry Pratchett

man riding horse

Dark Fantasy is just another way of saying Horror.

--Terry Pratchett


man standing outdoors

What a mess the world was in, Vimes reflected. Constable Visit had told him the meek would inherit it, and what had the poor devils done to deserve that?

--Terry Pratchett

brown chopped logs

It doesn't matter how you live and die, it's how the bards wrote it down.

--Terry Pratchett

black mountain under blue sky during night time

Heaven has no taste." "Now-" "And not one single sushi restaurant." A look of pain crossed the angel's suddenly very serious face.

--Terry Pratchett

person standing on rock beside body of water between green trees

Are you a devious, plotting, unreliable madman? Ah, good, then you can be my most trusted advisor.

--Terry Pratchett

black fawn pug playing with plush toy

Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

--Terry Pratchett

white wooden dock on white sand

You'll see! We're going to the palace. Fetch Angua. We might need her. And bring the search warrant. You mean the sledgehammer, sir? Yes.

--Terry Pratchett

black mountain under blue sky during night time

Granddad was superstitious about books. He thought that if you had enough of them around, education leaked out, like radioactivity.

--Terry Pratchett

group of people waving their hands

Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out.

--Terry Pratchett

Longer Version:

Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the shopkeeper. "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person.


sunset grasslands

He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

--Terry Pratchett

black wooden louver door window

You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?

--Terry Pratchett

None

The labyrinth of Ephebe is ancient and full of one hundred and one amazing things you can do with hidden springs, razor-sharp knives, and falling rocks.

--Terry Pratchett

iceberg near mountain during day

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question.

--Terry Pratchett


landscape photography of mountain hit by sun rays

He had done regular live concerts from San Quentin jail until the civil rights people got him under the Cruel and Unusual Punishment clause.

--Terry Pratchett

Bright orange to dark red gradient

The girls were expected to grow up to be somebody's wife. They were also expected to read and write, those being considered soft indoor jobs that were too fiddly for the boys.

--Terry Pratchett



red strawberry fruit on red surface

Probably the last sound heard before the Universe folded up like a paper hat would be someone saying, "What happens if I do this?

--Terry Pratchett

full moon in the sky

Learning how not to do things is as hard as learning how to do them. Harder, maybe. There'd be a sight more frogs in this world if I didn't know how not to turn people into them. And big pink balloons, too.

--Terry Pratchett

landscape photography of mountain

Privilege (to the privileged) means having private laws.

--Terry Pratchett

clear drinking glass with beer

Incidentally, it's best not to argue with the nursing staff. I find the best course of action is to throw some chocolates in one direction and hurry off in the other while their attention is distracted.

--Terry Pratchett

time lapse photography body of water

You worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business.

--Terry Pratchett


green and brown mountains under blue sky during daytime

And the new day was a great big fish.

--Terry Pratchett

bird's eye view photography of trees and body of water

Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people.

--Terry Pratchett

white brick wall

If music were the food of love, she was game for a sonata and chips at any time.

--Terry Pratchett

black textile in close up photography

No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.

--Terry Pratchett

gray cactus plant on white pot

I was once a journalist. And I think of myself as a journalist, and that's it. You tell the truth. I even wrote a book called 'The Truth.'

--Terry Pratchett

landscape photo of mountain during nighttime

You're allowed to grant people into the darkness, but you must allow them to come out again.

--Terry Pratchett

desert grassland

The commander went, as they say in Ankh-Morpork, totally Librarian on them.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow flower field under clear sky

The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.

--Terry Pratchett

green plants near body of water during daytime

Hat = wizard, wizard = hat. Everything else is frippery.

--Terry Pratchett

woman wears black dress

Many feel they are called to the priesthood, but what they really hear is an inner voice saying, 'It's indoor work with no heavy lifting, do you want to be a ploughman like your father?'

--Terry Pratchett

photo of giraffe

William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir."
Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions.

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed trees with fog

Or there will be a reckoning!

--Terry Pratchett

black and white abstract illustration

You were the kind of kid who couldn't see the difference between throwing rocks at a cat and setting it on fire.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow green leaf

Knowledge is dangerous, which is why governments often clamp down on people who can think thoughts above a certain caliber.

--Terry Pratchett

white sand under white sky

In Genua, someone set out to make dreams come true. Remember some of your dreams?

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

Oh, well...up until now it had been a good day, in a horrible kind of way.

--Terry Pratchett


silhouette of man standing on hill during starry night

When I was a kid, I read the science-fiction shelves, and I read the fantasy shelves.

--Terry Pratchett

three clear glass cups

Sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of stones during golden hour

Anyway, if you stop tellin' people it's all sorted out afer they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive.

--Terry Pratchett


closeup photography of wall

My own books drive themselves. I know roughly where a book is going to end, but essentially the story develops under my fingers. It's just a matter of joining the dots.

--Terry Pratchett

None

You're saying,' he said, weighing each word, 'that we should send Carrot away to be a duck among humans because Bjorn Stronginthearm is my uncle.

--Terry Pratchett

brown grass field during daytime

There are some people who hate my guts. But that goes with the territory.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

"Money doesn't buy happiness, Gytha."
"I only wanted to rent it for a few weeks!"

--Terry Pratchett

man smiling while facing other person

Where there is personality, there is discord.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and black skies

If I knew that I could die, I would live. My life, my death, my choice.

--Terry Pratchett

blue ocean

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease.

--Terry Pratchett

Longer Version:

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.


scenery of aurora

Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple.

--Terry Pratchett

grassland landscape

Logic is a wonderful thing but doesn't always beat actual thought.

--Terry Pratchett

man jumping on hill during golden hour

Thats how we survive infinity -- we kill it by breaking it up into small bits.

--Terry Pratchett

black and gray floral textile

It is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

--Terry Pratchett

None

This time it had been magic. And it didn't stop being magic just because you found out how it was done.

--Terry Pratchett

group of camels walking on desert lake at daytime

Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.

--Terry Pratchett

brown wooden bridge beside green leafed trees during daytime

Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something.

--Terry Pratchett

None

But what's worth more than gold? Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that?

--Terry Pratchett

None

No-one likes being told it's their lucky day. That sort of thing does not bode well. When someone tells you it's your lucky day, something bad is about to happen.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and white humming bird

Light died in the west. Night and tears took the Nation. The star of Water drifted among the clouds like a murderer softly leaving the scene of the crime.

--Terry Pratchett


green ceramic mug beside book

It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny.

--Terry Pratchett

person standing in front of fire

Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment.

--Terry Pratchett

sealion surrounded by rocks during daytime

Ricewind had always relied on running away. But somerimes, perhaps, you had to stand and fight, if only because there was nowhere left to run.

--Terry Pratchett

red flame

IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.

--Terry Pratchett

people on beach during daytime

I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course.

--Terry Pratchett

bird on pier

High magic requires a great clarity of thought, you see, and women's talents do not lie in that direction. Their brains tend to overheat.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white abstract painting

When she spoke again it was in the thin, careful and above all brave voice of someone who has pulled themselves together despite overwhelming odds but might let go again at any moment.

--Terry Pratchett

blooming yellow sunflower field

Drunkenness had this to be said for it, it stopped the flow of inspirations.

--Terry Pratchett

shoreline during golden hour

Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.

--Terry Pratchett

grayscale photo of rock formation

The headlines screamed at him as soon as he saw the paper. He almost screamed back.

--Terry Pratchett

birds flying under cloudy sky during daytime

That was the very centre of his genius -- he invented things that anyone could have thought of, and men who can invent things that anyone could have thought of are very rare men.

--Terry Pratchett

grayscale photography of raindrops

Silk stockings. With garters. Well, they were out. There were a lot of things he'd do for Sybil, but if garters figured anywhere in the relationship they weren't going to be on him.

--Terry Pratchett

crescent moon above mountain

You can‘t go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it‘s just a cage.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of woman hugging mna under starry night sky

First of all you are a writer, a writer is what you are, so it doesn't actually stop the moment you leave your desk, your computer, your keyboard, whatever. Something is operating the back of your mind.

--Terry Pratchett

close up photography of moon

It's not lying when you do it to officers!

--Terry Pratchett

yellow flower field under clear sky

A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman.

--Terry Pratchett

aerial photography of pine trees with mist

It's very rare that I ever go and research a particular subject. Mostly I do serendipitous research, I read stuff, things spinning out of the page.

--Terry Pratchett

person wearing black top

Thou shalt not submit thy god to market forces.

--Terry Pratchett



silhouette photography of person in gray sailing boat in the middle of body of water

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.

--Terry Pratchett

man in black tank top standing near tree under starry night

I do not in fact use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while.

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed vegetable on brown wooden surface

The money in the chorus isn't very good, is it?!" she said.
"No." It was less than you'd get for scrubbing floors. The reason was that, when you advertised a dirty floor, hundreds of hopefuls didn't turn up.

--Terry Pratchett

brown rock formation

If he was going to be boiled for a lamb, then he might as well be roasted for a sheep.

--Terry Pratchett

group of people inside the room in grayscale photo

He was currently wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were.

--Terry Pratchett


calm ocean

Everyone knew there were wolves in the mountains, but they seldom came near the village -- the modern wolves were the offspring of ancestors that had survived because they had learned that human meat had sharp edges.

--Terry Pratchett

time lapse photography of fire

You can't inspire people with facts. They need a cause. They need a symbol.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white striped textile

Mr. Tulip lived his life on that thin line most people occupy just before they haul off and hit someone repeatedly with a wrench.

--Terry Pratchett

blue sky with stars during night time

Everybody needed the witches, but hated the fact that they did, and somehow the hatred of the fact could become the hatred of the person.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white striped textile

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

Of course fantasy is escapist. Most stories are. So what? Teachers are not meant to be jailers.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow sunflower in bloom during daytime

Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care.

--Terry Pratchett

selective photography of green leaf plant

Someone out there was about to find that their worst nightmare was a maddened Librarian. With a badge.

--Terry Pratchett

gray surface

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man I put away childish things because. wow, then I could afford much *better* childish things!

--Terry Pratchett

four handheld gardening tools on rack

Personal's not the same as important. People just think it is.

--Terry Pratchett

green trees on brown dried leaves during daytime

Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white abstract painting

Potrafił nawet -- w przeciwieństwie do większości znanych Rincewindowi bohaterów -- używać słów dłuższych niż dwusylabowe... jeśli dało mu się dość czasu i podpowiedziało raz czy dwa.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of trees near body of water during sunset

Strength enough to build a home, Time enough to hold a child, Love enough to break a heart.

--Terry Pratchett


galaxy wallpaper

Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.

--Terry Pratchett

red strawberry fruit on red surface

Never trust any complicated cocktail that remains perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.

--Terry Pratchett

gray-scale photo of man and woman holding hands

Progress just means bad things happen faster.

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed plant

Bein' human means judgin' all the time," said the voice behind him. "This and that, good and bad, making choices every day…that's human.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of off-road car

When you have been a possession,
then you really understand what freedom means
in all its magnificent terror.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Often I sort of work up and down the manuscript. I sometimes used to go ahead of myself to see what was going to happen next, to make certain it fits what was going to be happening soon.

--Terry Pratchett

aerial's photo of metropolitan during night time\

Raise the stakes! Always push your luck because no one else would push it for you.

--Terry Pratchett

river in the middle of green and yellow mountains

Big fat hairy monkey, hands a couple of octaves wide?

--Terry Pratchett

None

You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that's going on in the world: you need to. If you get this right, then the writing is a piece of cake.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

Silence fell like a hammer made of feathers. It left holes in the shape of the sound of the sea.

--Terry Pratchett

aerial photography of forest

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

--Terry Pratchett

orange and white stone fragment

When you can flatten entire cities at a whim, a tendency towards quiet reflection and seeing-things-from-the-other-fellow's-point- of-view is seldom necessary.

--Terry Pratchett

forest with tall and green trees during daytime

Escapism isn't good or bad in itself. What is important is what you are escaping from and where you are escaping to.

--Terry Pratchett

bonfire near mountain

On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.

--Terry Pratchett


yellow painted wall

Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves.

--Terry Pratchett

dog on pier at water

We humans definitely need other people to keep us human.

--Terry Pratchett

pink and green flower painting

Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.

--Terry Pratchett

water on seashore

Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board and look all over the place for the dice.

--Terry Pratchett

galaxy wallpaper

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset with storm clouds

No-one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away... The span of someone's life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.

--Terry Pratchett

black and gray floral textile

I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

You've got a lot of time for abstract thought when you've got your hand stuck up a dead badger.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow and red color textile

There was something pleasant about an empty classroom. Of course, as any teacher would point out, one nice thing was that there were no children in it.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

Occasionally a few bubbles would eructate to the surface like the ghosts of beans on bath night.

--Terry Pratchett

selective focus photo of iceberg on large body of water at winter

Usually they defined "listening" as a period in which you worked out what you were going to say next.

--Terry Pratchett

green and white bird on black wire during daytime

In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero.

--Terry Pratchett

white and black satellite dish on brown field during night time

Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist.

--Terry Pratchett


fine trees waving

All holy piety in public, and all peeled grapes and self-indulgence in private.

--Terry Pratchett

tree under blue sky

The Great God Om waxed wroth, or at least made a spirited attempt. There is a limit to the amount of wroth that can be waxed one inch from the ground, and he was right up against it.

--Terry Pratchett

white pampas grasses near body of water at daytime

You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That's why everything is exactly the wrong way around.

--Terry Pratchett

flowers beside yellow wall

It was written in some holy book, apparently, so that made it okay, and probably compulsory.

--Terry Pratchett

green textile in close up image

'Nation' was one that I'd have killed myself if I hadn't written it. It was absolutely important to me that I wrote it. It was good for my soul.

--Terry Pratchett

orange moon during nighttime

Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.

--Terry Pratchett

None

I have to ask, sir...Why does it have to be done like this?"
Vetinari smiled. "Can you keep a secret, Mister Lipwig?"
"Oh, yes, sir. I've kept lots."
"Capital. And the point is, so can I. You do not need to know.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette photography of trees and sky

Anger is wonderful. It keeps you going. I'm angry about bankers. About the government.

--Terry Pratchett

bird's eye view photography of trees and body of water

A push-and-go wooden duck on wheels can cause quite a lot of damage if wielded with enough force.

--Terry Pratchett

orange smoke on blue background

Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned.

--Terry Pratchett

woman in white shirt sitting on brown rock near lake during daytime

I imagine that fish have no word for water.

--Terry Pratchett

white wall paint with white wall paint

Humans take. They plough with iron. They ravage the land.'
'Some do, I'll grant you that. Others put back more'n they take. They put back love. They've got soil in their bones.

--Terry Pratchett

sunflower with clear glass vase on gray table

He helped the Librarian up. There was a red glow in the ape's eyes. It had tried to steal his books. This was probably the best proof any wizard could require that the trolleys were brainless.

--Terry Pratchett

two mugs of brown liquids

Modesty is only arrogance by stealth.

--Terry Pratchett

moon near mountain ridge

Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn't do good for people, she did right by them.

--Terry Pratchett

starry night over butte

You know how to pray, don't you? Just put your hands together and hope.

--Terry Pratchett

aerial view of green lake surrounded by green trees during daytime

In defiance of Miss Maccalariat I'd like to commit hanky-panky with you, Miss Adora Belle Dearheart... well, certainly hanky, and possibly panky when we get to know one another better.

--Terry Pratchett

white textile in close up photography

But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him.

--Terry Pratchett

None

He'sh mad?"
"Sort of mad. But mad with lots of money."
"Ah, then he can't be mad. I've been around; if a man hash lotsh of money he'sh just ecshentric.

--Terry Pratchett

red strawberry fruit on red surface

What is normal? Normal was yesterday. If you lose a leg, one day you're hopping around on one leg, so you know the difference.

--Terry Pratchett

milky way wallpaper

Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day.

--Terry Pratchett

milky way wallpaper

I'm not superstitious. I'm a witch. Witches aren't superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.

--Terry Pratchett

None

There are some things that are more appropriate to a children's than an adult book but there's a huge overlapping area and most kids read an age group up anyway.

--Terry Pratchett

rock mountain during starry night

Bein' a soldier is not hard. If it was, soldiers would not be able to do it.

--Terry Pratchett

rainbow desert

I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and gray mountains during daytime

She was definitely feeling several twinkles short of a glitter.

--Terry Pratchett

green mountain ]

Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.

--Terry Pratchett

stars across the sky view at the desert

Next comes the realist phase ("After all, from a purely geometrical point of view a cat is only a tube with a door at the top.")

--Terry Pratchett

orange leaves tree

Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.

--Terry Pratchett


man running on seashore

It's the end game that people dread and that's what I'm scared of.

--Terry Pratchett

black and gray floral textile

After you've been working fairly intensively on a novel for six months you never want to see the damn thing again.

--Terry Pratchett

white and yellow flowers during daytime

The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.

--Terry Pratchett

pink and yellow flower painting

Human beings, little bags of thinking water held up briefly by fragile accumulations of calcium.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and gray brick wall

There was a sigh from Death. Space he thought. That was the trouble. It was never like this on worlds with everlastingly cloudy skies. But once humans saw all that space, their brains expanded to try and fill it up.

--Terry Pratchett

four white balloons on white wall

What a place! What a situation! What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.

--Terry Pratchett

white wall paint beside white wall

Money makes people rich; it is a fallacy to think it makes them better, or even that it makes them worse. People are what they do, and what they leave behind.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of outer space

No real sunrise could paint the sky Surgical Appliance Pink.

--Terry Pratchett

photography of white wall lot

Vimes stalked gloomily through the crowded streets, feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad.

--Terry Pratchett

green water in close up photography

You can't remember the plot of the Dr Who movie because it didn't have one, just a lot of plot holes strung together. It did have a lot of flashing lights, though.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and gray stick

Everywhere I look, I see something holy.

--Terry Pratchett

black and white butterfly on green leaf

We're better'n them all right. We jus' don't always win.

--Terry Pratchett

mountain dew during sunrise

Why not? If enough people believe, you can be god of anything.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset with storm clouds

Could I please amend that suggestion? Could you not be there in the second darkest shadow one hour before midnight, to see who steps into the darkest shadow?

--Terry Pratchett

stars across the sky view at the desert

It was the heart of any scam or fiddle -- keep the punter uncertain, or, if he is certain, make him certain of the wrong thing.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset with storm clouds

The days followed one another patiently. Right back at the beginning of the multiverse they had tried all passing at the same time, and it hadn't worked.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow background

The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of people riding bicycle

And we don't often get any wading birds in the River Ankh, mainly because the pollution would eat their legs away and anyway, it's easier for them to walk on the surface.

--Terry Pratchett

four person standing beside wall

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

--Terry Pratchett

trees at sunset

I've often felt depressed; everyone feels depressed.

--Terry Pratchett

black bird flying under white clouds during daytime

I got into science fiction by being interested in astronomy first.

--Terry Pratchett

green background

Some shadows are so long, they arrive before the light.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette photography of person in gray sailing boat in the middle of body of water

And Unseen University took tradition very seriously, at least when it remembered to.

--Terry Pratchett


grayscale photography of mountain surrounded by trees

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.

--Terry Pratchett

person in black top carrying brown wicker basket

She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain that the forest, on this damp and windy night, contained strange and terrible things and she was it.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile in close up photography

Mr Lipwig, there's a lady in the hall to see you and we've thanked her for not smoking three times and she's still doing it!

--Terry Pratchett

multicolored abstract painting

Even our fears make us feel important, because we fear we might not be.

--Terry Pratchett

milky way galaxy

Inzwischen hätten sie Bürokratie und Steuern erfinden können, um die Bürger mit wahrem Kummer zu geißeln. Statt dessen haben wir nur einen Haufen zweitklassiger Axtmörder. Welche Verschwendung.

--Terry Pratchett

brown wooden board

Possession of the box conferred a kind of power on the wielder -- which was that anyone, confronted with the hypnotic glass eye, would submissively obey the most peremptory orders about stance and expression.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow sunflower under blue sky during daytime

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

--Terry Pratchett

closeup photo of bird beside purple petal flowers

Soon to come in licorice, orange, cinnamon, and banana, but not strawberry, because I hate strawberries.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white striped textile

Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

--Terry Pratchett

four wooden boat on teal sea

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter.

--Terry Pratchett

Longer Version:

Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!


aerial photo of green trees

We're living in science fiction, but we don't realize it.

--Terry Pratchett

aerial photography of mountain range covered with snow under white and blue sky at daytime

What we're going to do is keep the peace. That's our job. We're not going to be heroes, we're just going to be ... normal.

--Terry Pratchett

grassland landscape

Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of person standing beside bare tree under stary sky

Them as can do has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices.

--Terry Pratchett

green grass field with smoke

Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.

--Terry Pratchett

closeup photo of bird beside purple petal flowers

People don't like to say Horror so they say Dark Fantasy because that's Horror wearing a collar and tie.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of trees during nighttime

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever" he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.

--Terry Pratchett

photography of white sky at golden hour

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

--Terry Pratchett


lights pattern swirls

My idea of a good novel was one you made enough money out of to buy a greenhouse.

--Terry Pratchett

photography of burning camp fire

And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white abstract painting

And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow and green forest during daytime

That's the trouble about the good guys and the bad guys! They're all guys!

--Terry Pratchett

brown grass field near gray rocky mountain during daytime

Creatures which, lacking mankind's superior brain power, did not concern themselves with finding someone to blame, and instead tried to find someone to eat.

--Terry Pratchett

lion on green grass during golden hour

Sometimes the moon is light and sometimes it's in shadow, but you should always remember it's the same moon.

--Terry Pratchett

None

It is true that words have power, and one of the things they are able to do is get out of someone's mouth before the speaker has the chance to stop them.

--Terry Pratchett


closeup photo of bird beside purple petal flowers

Bandits and governments 'ave so much in common that they might be interchangeable anywhere in the world.

--Terry Pratchett

calm ocean

You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and white clouds during night time

Tell someone you are going to rob them and all that will happen is that you'll get a reputation as a truthful man.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile in close up photography

His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation.

--Terry Pratchett

red strawberry fruit on red surface

He's got a box with a demon in it that draws pictures," said Rincewind shortly. "Do what the madman says and he will give you gold.

--Terry Pratchett

None

They looked at one another in incomprehension, two minds driving opposite ways up a narrow street and waiting for the other man to reverse first.

--Terry Pratchett

black Corona typewriter on brown wood planks

In order to have a change of fortune at the last minute, you have to take your fortune to the last minute.

--Terry Pratchett

selective photography of green leaf plant

There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime.

--Terry Pratchett

photography of yellow petaled flowers field

Esme Weatherwax hadn't done nice. She'd done what was needed.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of stones during golden hour

Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.

--Terry Pratchett

green trees near lake under cloudy sky during daytime

I'm interested in mythology generally, but India has no special place in my heart -- although Hindu gods seem a lot more fun.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile in close up photography

In my heart, I'm just a kid from the council houses. I can remember the old cottage and my dad coming round with the tin bath. I'm not a rich man.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and gray floral textile

I've never really liked the Yanks. ... You can't trust people who pick up the ball all the time when they play football.

--Terry Pratchett

close up shot of white flower

Actors, said Granny, witheringly. As if the world weren't full of enough history without inventing more.

--Terry Pratchett

None

I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted.

--Terry Pratchett

man in orange jacket and black pants doing snow ski during daytime

Inside every lump of coal there's a diamond waiting to get out.

--Terry Pratchett

white wall paint with white wall paint

A man could be dogmatic, and that was all right, or he could be stupid, and no harm done, but stupid and dogmatic at the same time was too much, especially fluxed with body odor.

--Terry Pratchett

rocky mountain

The figures looked more or less human. And they were engaged in religion. You could tell by the knives (it's not murder if you do it for a god).

--Terry Pratchett

sunset with storm clouds

Silverfish looked down. "Oh. Are you a dwarf?" Cuddy gave him a blank stare. "Are you a giant?" he said. "Me? Of course not!" "Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Vimes struggled to his feet, shook his head and set off after it. No thought was involved. It is the ancient instinct of terriers and policemen to chase anything that runs away.

--Terry Pratchett


elephants on green grass field during daytime

The world is a globe. The farther you sail, the closer to home you are.

--Terry Pratchett

white and black satellite dish on brown field during night time

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

--Terry Pratchett

white sand

Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong.

--Terry Pratchett


man in black and white striped shirt sitting on brown rock during daytime

Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle.

--Terry Pratchett

green ceramic mug beside book

Sometimes I feel that the world is made up of sensible people who know the plot and bloody idiots who don't.

--Terry Pratchett

white and blue ice in water

Experience has taught me that you feel better on a flight if you avoid chicken fat in plastic sauce.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow and white color illustration

William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of man standing on hill during starry night

He moved on, in the centre of a widening circle. He wasn't an enemy, he was a nemesis.

--Terry Pratchett

starry night in Texas

Mr. False! No, don't start grabbing the chickens! Better off farmer with no chickens than a load of chickens with no farmer! Anyway, they'll probably float, or fly, or something!

--Terry Pratchett

man riding on boat on body of water

You don't have to chase around after creatures, Pismire had said.

--Terry Pratchett

adult black and tan dachshund

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow green leaf

The Deftmenes are mad and the Dumii are sane, thought Snibril, and that's just the same as being mad except that it's quieter.

--Terry Pratchett

Texas buildings

The pamphlet was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

--Terry Pratchett

person wearing red jacket climbing on glacier

Do gems burn, I wonder? ‘Tis said they're kin to coal.

--Terry Pratchett

milky way wallpaper

If we wanted people to fly, we would have given them wings."
"You gave me wings when you showed me birds.

--Terry Pratchett

red and white led lighted heart decor

He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette photography of person

This book was written using 100% recycled words.

--Terry Pratchett

person standing on rock beside body of water between green trees

There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

--Terry Pratchett

people walking on hallway

You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick.

--Terry Pratchett

white and blue ice on water

Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.

--Terry Pratchett

pink umbrella

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

--Terry Pratchett

black, purple, and orange basketball court beside concrete buildings at daytime

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.

--Terry Pratchett

blue wallpaper

Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate.

--Terry Pratchett

man wearing black jacket standing on street

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

--Terry Pratchett

mountains under white clouds at daytime

So many worlds, so many wonders.

--Terry Pratchett

Light blue to dark blue gradient

Life is just chemicals. A drop here, a drip there, everything's changed. A mere dribble of fermented juices and sudenlly you're going to live another few hours.

--Terry Pratchett

three person looking stars and milky way

Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.

--Terry Pratchett

blue parrot standing on brown tree branch

Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because -- what with trolls and dwarfs and so on -- speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.

--Terry Pratchett

black and gray floral textile

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.

--Terry Pratchett

None

He had the kind of real deep tan that rich people spent ages trying to achieve with expensive holidays and bits of tinfoil, when really all you need to do to obtain one is work your arse off in the open air everyday.

--Terry Pratchett

None

You did something because it had always been done, and the explanation was, ‘But we've always done it this way.' A million dead people can't have been wrong, can they?

--Terry Pratchett

None

Making money isn't something to be ashamed of. There's a feeling now that if you have money you must have got it by some kind of shady dealing or being an MP.

--Terry Pratchett

stars across the sky view at the desert

Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.

--Terry Pratchett

white clouds and blue sky

From the trees around the clearing the snakes and birds watched silently. In the swamp the alligators drifted like patches of bad-assed water.

--Terry Pratchett

brown rocky mountain under blue sky during daytime

Responsibilities are the anvil on which a man is forged.

--Terry Pratchett


sunset

It is possible to live well with dementia and write best-sellers 'like wot I do.

--Terry Pratchett

Bryce Canyon National Park Sunrise Point at Utah

It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.

--Terry Pratchett

pink and green flower painting

Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.

--Terry Pratchett



sea during daytime

I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and black butterfly on pink and yellow flower

Shut up sergeant. You're a free troll. That's an order"
Sam Vimes.

--Terry Pratchett

rock formation surrounding by body of water

Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow and red color textile

He'sh mad?' ‘Sort of mad. But mad with lots of money.' ‘Ah, then he can't be mad. I've been around; if a man hash lotsh of money he'sh just ecshentric.

--Terry Pratchett

green fruit in macro lens photography

Once you gave a thing a name, you gave it life.

--Terry Pratchett

body of water under blue sky with stars

When the humours were handed out, Ankh-Morpork got the one for joking and Quirm had to do make do with their expertise in fine dining and love-making.

--Terry Pratchett

empty gray carpet

No, I happen to be one of those people whose memory shuts down under pressure. The answers would come to me in the middle of the night in my sleep! Besides, I am a millionaire.

--Terry Pratchett

green leaf in close up photography

A crowbar is a universal pass key.

--Terry Pratchett


close-up photography of heart shaped fairy lite on brown sand

If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story.

--Terry Pratchett

library shelf near black wooden ladder

Bring 'em in stupid, send them away clever, that's the UU way!

--Terry Pratchett

birds flying under cloudy sky during daytime

Now look," snapped the Dean, "we've searched everywhere for a decent library on this island. There simply isn't one! It's ridiculous. How is anyone supposed to get anything done?

--Terry Pratchett

woman lying on pool

The prayers of most religions generally praise and thank the gods involved, either out of general piety or in the hope that he or she will take the hint and start acting responsibly.

--Terry Pratchett

brown and gray floral textile

The remainder of the opera passed without anyone dying, except where the score required them to do so at some length.

--Terry Pratchett

body of water surrounded with plants under cloudy sky

The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of children's running on hill

"Out of Print" is bookseller speak for "We can't be hedgehogged."

--Terry Pratchett

yellow, black, green, and orange digital wallpaper

Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.

--Terry Pratchett

calm body of water near alp mountains during nighttime

I like writing. I get cranky when I can't. Yes, I write books back to back, and I work very hard on them.

--Terry Pratchett

white and blue floral textile

What your soldier wants -- really, really wants -- is no-one shooting back at him.

--Terry Pratchett

brown wooden bridge beside green leafed trees during daytime

We live in a science fiction universe. We have done for a long time.

--Terry Pratchett

closeup photography of black and brown bird

In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

--Terry Pratchett

gray leaves

People listened to Hamnpork because he was the leader, but they listened to Darktan because he was often telling you things that you really, really needed to know if you wanted to go on living.

--Terry Pratchett

mountains covered with fog

Vampires have risen from the dead, the grave, and the crypt, but have never managed it from the cat.

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed vegetable on brown wooden surface

Tiffany found her mind filling up with an invisible gray mist, and in that thought there was nothing but grief. She could feel herself trying to push back time, but even the best witchcraft could not do that.

--Terry Pratchett

white and blue sky during daytime

One thing that writers have in common is that they are readers first. They have read lots and lots of stuff, because they're just infested with lots of stuff.

--Terry Pratchett

galaxy

That's the Ankh-Morpork instinct, Vimes thought. Run away, and then stop and see if anything interesting is going to happen to other people.

--Terry Pratchett

person standing on rock beside body of water between green trees

It's not morbid to talk about death. Most people don't worry about death, they worry about a bad death.

--Terry Pratchett

blue, yellow, and purple starry sky during nighttime

People whose concept of ancient history is the first series of Star Trek may be treated with patience, because it's usually not their fault they were reduced to getting their education from school.

--Terry Pratchett

green ceramic mug beside book

And summer isn't a time. It's a place as well. Summer is a moving creature and likes to go south for the winter.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile on brown wooden table

Vimes leaned back. 'Don't try to put me at my ease, Miss von Humpeding,' he said. 'It makes me nervous when people do that. It's not as though I have any ease to be put at.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of mountains during sunset

I'm sure the Bursar would not agree with those figures," said the Senior Wrangler sourly.
"That is so,' said Ponder, "but I'm afraid that is because he regards the decimal point as a nuisance.

--Terry Pratchett

blue and white light digital wallpaper

There's always a story. It's all stories, really. The sun coming up every day is a story. Everything's got a story in it. Change the story, change the world.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile on brown wooden table

On nights such as this, witches are abroad. Well, not actually abroad. They don't like the food and you can't trust the water and the shamans always hog the deckchairs.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape rain

And, as always happens, and happens far too soon, the strange and wonderful becomes a memory and a memory becomes a dream. Tomorrow it's gone.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape

The whole point of the wish business was to see to it that what the client got was exactly what he asked for and exactly what he didn't really want.

--Terry Pratchett

group of camels walking on desert lake at daytime

Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you." "Sir?" "It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority." "Sir?" "That's practically zen.

--Terry Pratchett

None

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel. This is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

--Terry Pratchett

empty gray carpet

There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.

--Terry Pratchett


landscape photography of horizon

Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.

--Terry Pratchett

black portable vinyl records

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow painted wall

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot."

--Terry Pratchett

brown and gray brick wall

He could always materialise and sort things out personally. But he liked people to believe that all the bad things that happened to them were just fate and destiny. It was one of the few things that cheered him up.

--Terry Pratchett

white sand under white sky

I'm a witch. It's what we do. When it's nobody else's business, it's my business.

--Terry Pratchett

orange and white floor tiles

This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.

--Terry Pratchett

wormeye view photo of milky way

I ain't against gods and goddesses, in their place. But they've got to be the ones we make ourselves. Then we can take 'em to bits for the parts when we don't need 'em anymore, see?

--Terry Pratchett

lighted candle in dark room

"Questions don't have to make sense, Vincent," said Miss Susan. "But answers do."

--Terry Pratchett

gray surface

I decided at school that the only sensible way to make a living by arranging words in a pleasing order was by working on newspapers, because you got paid at the end of the week or the end of the month.

--Terry Pratchett

pink and white light illustration

This man was so absent-mindedly clever that he could paint pictures that didn't just follow you around the room but went home with you and did the washing-up.

--Terry Pratchett

purple lavender flower

It's always surprising to be reminded that while you're watching and thinking about people, all knowing and superior, they're watching and thinking about you, right back at you.

--Terry Pratchett

photography of white wall lot

The Captain of the Watch says if you're still in the City by sunrise he will personally have you buried alive.

--Terry Pratchett

rock formation in body of water

You don't want people to be kind to animals because they're animals, you just want people to be kind to animals because one of them might be you.

--Terry Pratchett

None

I can't stand any music that requires its singers to be so dumb they wear their baseball caps backwards.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow sunflower under blue sky during daytime

We can't just drop everything, sir!"
"Mister Lipwig. Is there something in the word 'tyrant' you do not understand?

--Terry Pratchett

black and gray floral textile

Rincewind a man who might well have had 'Victim' written all over him but also had 'Wizzard' written on his hat.

--Terry Pratchett

orange moon during nighttime

Omens are everywhere in this world you just have to find the one that fits.

--Terry Pratchett

man on running field

Young adults that actually read are reading bodice rippers and best-sellers and me. And Horror.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow flower field near bare trees during daytime

No one thinks that young adults read books for young adults; books for young adults are read by kids.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

When you're all singing together, it brings things together. I know the songs that my grandfather and my father sang.

--Terry Pratchett

brown nut on person's left palm

Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!

--Terry Pratchett

purple-petaled flowers

Plot exposition that can be gently wound out by the authorial voice and internal monologue of a character in the length of a page has to be delivered in a matter of seconds on the stage.

--Terry Pratchett

cluster of stars in the sky

I keep vaguely wondering what Macs are like, but the ones I've seen spend too much time being friendly.

--Terry Pratchett

selective photography of green leaf plant

Fascism may be good at making the trains run on time, but you wouldn't like some of the destinations.

--Terry Pratchett


green leaf

But that was just it -- hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.

--Terry Pratchett

gray cactus plant on white pot

But here's some advice, boy. Don't put your trust in revolutions. They always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.

--Terry Pratchett

green fruit in macro lens photography

Interest? What's money interested in?' 'More money.'

--Terry Pratchett

grayscale photography of raindrops

I've never known what to do," said Rincewind with hollow cheerfulness. "Been completely at a loss my whole life." He hesitated. "I think it's called being human, or something.

--Terry Pratchett

horse

When they're standing right in front of you, kings are a kind of speech impediment.

--Terry Pratchett

Blue to purple gradient

What can the harvest hope for, if not for the care of the Reaper Man?

--Terry Pratchett

blue sky and white clouds

I'm referred to, I see, as 'the biggest banker in modern publishing'. Now there's a line that needed the celebrated Guardian proof-reading.

--Terry Pratchett

red and white led lighted heart decor

You will have to look a long way before you find a bunch of scum-suckers more greedy, humourless and deserving of death than the suits in the music business.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette photo of mountain during night time

It doesn't matter if dragons are flying overhead or whatever -- a lot of Victoriana is still cut in the frame of fantasy.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and green light digital wallpaper

I stroll along, talk, I sign books, people buy me drinks, I forget where my hotel is, I get lost and fall into some local body of water... done it hundreds of times.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow pen

The most important thing was that time had passed, pouring thousands of soothing seconds across the island. People need time to deal with the now before it runs away and becomes the then.

--Terry Pratchett

yellow and white color illustration

Death stripes away many things, especially when it arrives at a temperature hot enough to vaporize iron ... The immortal remains of Brother Watchtower watched the dragon flap away into the fog ..

--Terry Pratchett

black mountain under blue sky during night time

Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.

--Terry Pratchett

silhoutte of mountains during sunset

Don't wish, Miss Tick had said. Do things.

--Terry Pratchett

red moon at night

Neither of my parents went to church, but they did everything that you needed to do to be Christian. That's something a Quaker would call an intimation of the divine.

--Terry Pratchett

green trees near lake under cloudy sky during daytime

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along.

--Terry Pratchett

icy mountain scenery

Vimes had believed all his life that the Watch were called coppers because they carried copper badges, but no, said Carrot, it comes from the old word cappere, to capture.

--Terry Pratchett

man sitting on wooden bench near black metal railings

One of the highlights of the first Good Omens tour was Neil and I walking through New York singing Shoehorn with Teeth. Well, we'd had a good breakfast. And you don't get mugged, either.

--Terry Pratchett

Painting of Stonehenge

You take a bunch of people who don't seem any different from you and me, but when you add them all together you get this sort of huge raving maniac with national borders and an anthem.

--Terry Pratchett

aerial view of green lake surrounded by green trees during daytime

Probably the last man who knew how it worked had been tortured to death years before. Or as soon as it was installed. Killing the creator was a traditional method of patent-protection.

--Terry Pratchett

white flower

Imagination, not intelligence, made us human.

--Terry Pratchett


green plant

Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners.

--Terry Pratchett

shallow focus photography of white flowers

Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.

--Terry Pratchett

forest trees photograph

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

--Terry Pratchett

person shadow boxing grayscale

Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one.
But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

--Terry Pratchett

white tulips with green leaves

I must confess the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occurred to him.

--Terry Pratchett

star sequins on white platform

I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?' If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

--Terry Pratchett

leafless tree under gray sky

The proliferation of luminous fungi or iridescent crystals in deep caves where the torchlessly improvident hero needs to see is one of the most obvious intrusions of narrative causality into the physical universe.

--Terry Pratchett

Arizona landscape pines

Raising the flag and singing the anthem are, while somewhat suspicious, not in themselves acts of treason.

--Terry Pratchett

landscape photography of mountains with cloudy skies during golden hour

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.

--Terry Pratchett

man and woman with bone fire sitting on seashore

Child. That was a terrible thing to say to anyone who was almost thirteen.

--Terry Pratchett

bird's eye view photography of trees and body of water

People are content to wait a long time for salvation, but expect dinner to turn up within the hour.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette photo of mountain during night time

The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done.

--Terry Pratchett

None

In fact, if there were such a thing as an international thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets.

--Terry Pratchett


man in green shirt and blue knit cap sitting on floor

Sister Mary was a nurse and nurses, whatever their creed, are primarily nurses, which had a lot to do with wearing your watch upside down, keeping calm in emergencies, and dying for a cup of tea.

--Terry Pratchett

black, purple, and orange basketball court beside concrete buildings at daytime

Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your own home.

--Terry Pratchett

mountains covered with fog

The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.

--Terry Pratchett


brown and white abstract painting

When Geoffrey's not anxious, he radiates calmness, which probably means he sees more things and finds more things than other people do. It makes him open to new things too.

--Terry Pratchett

pair of white lace-up shoes

Give anyone a lever long enough and they can change the world. It's unreliable levers that are the problem.

--Terry Pratchett

close-up photography of heart shaped fairy lite on brown sand

Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with scented bootlaces.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and green light digital wallpaper

She knew a cutting, incisive, withering and above all a self-evident answer existed. It was just that, to her extreme annoyance, she couldn't quite bring it to mind.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and blue light illustration

It was a Guild of Assassins, after all. Black was what you wore. The night was black and so were you. And black had such style, and an Assassin without style, everyone agreed, was just a highly paid arrogant thug.

--Terry Pratchett

purple lavender flower

Captain Vimes believed in logic, in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in ice -- i.e., it was something he really needed, but this just wasn't the world for it.

--Terry Pratchett

two women making peace sign near the Golden Gate bridge

It takes forty men with their feet on the ground to keep one man with his head in the air.

--Terry Pratchett


blue sky with stars during night time

"It tells him what to say. I know it sounds ridiculous," muttered Hugh.
"How can a book tell a man what to say?"

--Terry Pratchett

None

So much paperwork to read! So much paperwork to push away! So much paperwork to pretend he hadn't received and that might have been eaten by gargoyles.

--Terry Pratchett

raging waves through shores

Gods, it felt good. Hot water was civilization. Vimes could feel the stiffness in his muscles melting away in the warmth.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and blue light illustration

I hate cats."
Death's face became a little stiffer, if that were possible. The blue glow in his eye sockets flickered red for an instant.
"I SEE," he said. The tone suggested that death was too good for cat haters.

--Terry Pratchett

lightning strike at night

All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional.

--Terry Pratchett

brown pathway between green plants

Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?

--Terry Pratchett

mountains covered with fog

What I've always said was, hang in there, let me write what I want to write, and you'll probably like it.

--Terry Pratchett

people on beach during daytime

The thing about witchcraft," said Mistress Weatherwax, "is that it's not like school at all. First you get the test, and then afterward you spend years findin' out how you passed it. It's a bit like life in that respect.

--Terry Pratchett

orange abstract painting

If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.

--Terry Pratchett

brown rocky mountain under blue sky during daytime

Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course.

--Terry Pratchett


man in black jacket and black pants standing on brown rock formation during daytime

It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone.

--Terry Pratchett

mountain summit during sunset

All Fungi are edible.
Some fungi are only edible once.

--Terry Pratchett


white clouds and blue sky

Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!

--Terry Pratchett

woman wearing black top standing near yellow wall

If you want to change a whole people, then you start with the girls. It stands to reason: they learn faster, and they pass on what they learn to their children.

--Terry Pratchett

close-up photograph of black dreadnought acoustic guitar

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

--Terry Pratchett

shallow focus photography of woman standing outdoors

Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue.

--Terry Pratchett

white and blue ice on water

Commander Vimes always says that when life hands you a mess of spaghetti, you just keep pulling until you find a meatball.

--Terry Pratchett

pink and green flower painting

If you try to to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette photo of aurora borealis

I'm glad a genre writer has got a knighthood, but stunned that it was me.

--Terry Pratchett

woman standing on cliff

I'm fairy godmothering a girl who sounds like something you put up in the rain.

--Terry Pratchett

green, red, and white abstract painting

Why bother with a cunning plan when a simple one will do?

--Terry Pratchett

galaxy

She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.

--Terry Pratchett

None

I became a journalist at 17. A few hours later, I saw my first dead body, which was somewhat... colourful. That's when I learned you can go on throwing up after you run out of things to throw up.

--Terry Pratchett

person standing on rock formation during daytime

Well, he thought, so this is diplomacy. It's lying, only for a better class of people.

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed plants on forest

Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

--Terry Pratchett

cluster of stars in the sky

In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?

--Terry Pratchett

landscape photography of waves and clouds

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

--Terry Pratchett


None

You couldn't buy it, you couldn't sell it, but you could give it away and still keep it, and even it'd been made of lead, it would have been worth its weight in gold.

--Terry Pratchett


blue flower in close up photography

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

--Terry Pratchett


None

Money is an unavoidable consequence, but it isn't the reason I write; if it was, I wouldn't have written any of the YA books, because advances in that field are small compared to what I'd got now for an 'adult' DW.

--Terry Pratchett

man in black bubble hoodie looking at the stars

Don't stick your nose where someone can pull it off and eat it.

--Terry Pratchett

long exposure photography of lights

Although she was aware that somewhere under her complicated strata of vests and petticoats there was some skin, that didn't mean to say she approved of it.

--Terry Pratchett


milky way wallpaper

"I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire," said Miss Tick. "There may be no survivors."

--Terry Pratchett

None

Last night there seemed to be a chance. Anything was possible last night. That was the trouble with last nights. They were always followed by this mornings.

--Terry Pratchett

man in black shirt on pink background

A good man will kill you with hardly a word.

--Terry Pratchett

purple and blue light illustration

Well, the lion is a big ol' coward, mostly. If you want trouble, you want to tangle with the lioness. They're killers, and they hunt together. It's the same everywhere. If you want big grief, look to the ladies.

--Terry Pratchett

green ceramic mug on wooden desk

Other people salted away money for their old age, but Nanny preferred to accumulate memories.

--Terry Pratchett

forest trees photograph

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.

--Terry Pratchett

brown wooden pathway in the middle of green trees

Trouble began, and not for the first time, with an apple.

--Terry Pratchett

white clouds and blue sky

The food was good solid stuff for a cold morning, all calories and fat and protein and maybe a vitamin crying softly because it was all alone.

--Terry Pratchett

white wall paint with white wall paint

Tolkien is eminently filmable, I think. 'The Lord of the Rings' is intensely... landscaped. But 'Discworld' is about dialogue, which is one reason why it might be hard to film.

--Terry Pratchett

green leafed seedlings on black plastic pots

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

--Terry Pratchett

brown sand under blue sky during daytime

Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.

--Terry Pratchett

low angle photo of starry night

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

--Terry Pratchett

black Sony point-and-shoot camera on yellow surface

Granny Weatherwax was not lost. She wasn't the kind of person who ever became lost. It was just that, at the moment, while she knew exactly where SHE was, she didn't know the position of anywhere else.

--Terry Pratchett

brown wooden surface

My name is unpronounceable in your tongue, woman," it said. "I'll be the judge of that," warned Granny, and added, "Don't call me woman." "Very well. My name is WxrtHltl-jwlpklz," said the demon smugly.

--Terry Pratchett

white wall paint with black shadow

The universe clearly operates for the benefit of humanity. This can be readily seen from the convenient way the sun comes up in the morning, when people are ready to start the day.

--Terry Pratchett

time lapse photography of fire

I have a living will and I have friends, and I have money and I have hope.

--Terry Pratchett


None

I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is.

--Terry Pratchett

photo of gray elephant on grass

It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad.

--Terry Pratchett


pink petaled flowers under trees at daytime

Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect.

--Terry Pratchett


silhouette of mountain during golden hour

That's Third Thoughts for you. When a huge rock is going to land on your head, they're the thoughts that think: Is that an igneous rock, such as granite, or is it sandstone?

--Terry Pratchett

blue wall bricks

When your name is really and truly Percy Blakeney, pronounced 'Black-knee', and you still have bad acne in your twenties, you accept Pimple as a nickname and are grateful that it wasn't anything worse.

--Terry Pratchett

empty brown concrete stairs beside green grass under starry sky long-exposure photography

You get all sorts of people in the library, and the librarian gets it all.

--Terry Pratchett

None

What is magic? There is the wizard's explanation... wizards talk about candles, circles, planets, stars, bananas, chants, runes and the importance of having at least four good meals every day.

--Terry Pratchett

white swan on blue sea during daytime

Odd thing, ain't it... you meet people one at a time, they seem decent, they got brains that work, and then they get together and you hear the voice of the people. And it snarls.

--Terry Pratchett

silhouette of tall trees

For several years he hadn't moved outside a large, airy room, but this was OK, because he spent most of his time inside his own head in any case. There's a certain type of person it's very hard to imprison.

--Terry Pratchett

black Corona typewriter on brown wood planks

Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through.

--Terry Pratchett

man standing on sand while spreading arms beside calm body of water

Shoes, men, coffins; never accept the first one you see.

--Terry Pratchett

sunset

If you don't know when to be a human being, you don't know when to be a witch.

--Terry Pratchett

None

Esk, of course, had not been trained, and it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

--Terry Pratchett

red textile in close up photography

Ye know full well that the meaning of life is to find your gift. To find your gift is happiness. Never tae find it is misery.

--Terry Pratchett

white and blue ice in water

And at the end of all stories Azrael, who knew the secret, thought: I REMEMBER WHEN ALL THIS WILL BE AGAIN.

--Terry Pratchett

None

When they arrived they would briefly and passionately mate, for the first and only time, and from that fiery union new turtle would be born to carry a new pattern of worlds. This was known as the Big Bang hypothesis.

--Terry Pratchett

orange moon during nighttime

It's not gambling to play
against someone who's no good. It's common sense.

--Terry Pratchett

We wish you a perfect day!