Inspiration and wisdom from divine felines

348 Inspiring Quotes by Will Rogers

Welcome to our collection of quotes by Will Rogers.

Wikipedia Summary for Will Rogers

William Penn Adair Rogers (November 4, 1879 – August 15, 1935) was an American stage and film actor, vaudeville performer, cowboy, humorist, newspaper columnist, and social commentator from Oklahoma. He was a Cherokee citizen born in the Cherokee Nation, Indian Territory.

Known as "Oklahoma's Favorite Son", Rogers was born to a Cherokee family in Indian Territory (now part of Oklahoma). As an entertainer and humorist, he traveled around the world three times, made 71 films (50 silent films and 21 "talkies"), and wrote more than 4,000 nationally syndicated newspaper columns.

By the mid-1930s, Rogers was hugely popular in the United States for his leading political wit and was the highest paid of Hollywood film stars. He died in 1935 with aviator Wiley Post when their small airplane crashed in northern Alaska.

Rogers's vaudeville rope act led to success in the Ziegfeld Follies, which in turn led to the first of his many movie contracts. His 1920s syndicated newspaper column and his radio appearances increased his visibility and popularity. Rogers crusaded for aviation expansion and provided Americans with first-hand accounts of his world travels. His earthy anecdotes and folksy style allowed him to poke fun at gangsters, prohibition, politicians, government programs, and a host of other controversial topics in a way that found general acclaim from a national audience with no one offended. His aphorisms, couched in humorous terms, were widely quoted: "I am not a member of an organized political party. I am a Democrat."

One of Rogers's most famous sayings was "I never met a man I didn't like" and he even provided an epigram on this famous epigram:

When I die, my epitaph, or whatever you call those signs on gravestones, is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I dident [sic] like." I am so proud of that, I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved.

red white and blue flag

Every Harvard class should have one Democrat to rescue it from oblivion.

--Will Rogers

brown and white humming bird

There is one rule that works in every calamity. Be it pestilence, war, or famine, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The poor even help arrange it.

--Will Rogers




silhouette of person's hands forming heart

If you don't like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute and it'll change.

--Will Rogers

rock formation in body of water

Old Hollywood is just like a desert water in Africa. Hang around long enough and every kind of animal in the world will drift in for refreshments.

--Will Rogers

purple and green light digital wallpaper

I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.

--Will Rogers


shallow focus photography of purple flower

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

--Will Rogers

man in black and white striped shirt sitting on brown rock during daytime

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

--Will Rogers

a man walks alone in the haze

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

--Will Rogers

silhouette photo of trees during night time

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

--Will Rogers

Russian Blue cat sleeping on whit textile

Always drink upstream from the herd.

--Will Rogers

bonfire in forest

There is no more interesting place in the world to meet characters than a movie set.

--Will Rogers


person in red shirt walking on brown field under gray sky during daytime

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

--Will Rogers

person in black top carrying brown wicker basket

It would drive a person crazy to dope out really what does divide the two parties. Prosperity don't divide the two parties, for under either administration the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.

--Will Rogers

red rope on three branch

I never mewt a man I didn't like.

--Will Rogers

empty brown concrete stairs beside green grass under starry sky long-exposure photography

We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

--Will Rogers

golden retriever inside car

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

--Will Rogers

low angle photo of starry night

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

--Will Rogers

white-and-pink flowers

Don't wait to buy land, Buy land and wait. Find out where the people are going and buy the land before they get there.

--Will Rogers

Arizona landscape

Rotation of crops and less automobiles will relieve the farmers whenever they decide to try it.

--Will Rogers




pink flower

Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

--Will Rogers

black sailing boat digital wallpaper

Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.

--Will Rogers

black bird flying on white background

Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold.

--Will Rogers

woman in black shirt walking on sidewalk near brown concrete wall partition

Both gangs have been bad sports, so see if at least one can't redeem themselves by offering no alibis, but cooperate with the winner, for no matter which one it is the poor fellow is going to need it.

--Will Rogers

woman doing yoga on rock platform next to body of water

The minute a thing is long and complicated, it confuses. Whoever wrote the Ten Commandments made 'em short. They may not always be kept, but they are understood.

--Will Rogers


close-up photograph of black dreadnought acoustic guitar

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

--Will Rogers

grayscale photo of woman wearing collared shirt

I bet you, if I had met Trotsky, and had had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I have never yet met a man I didn't like.

--Will Rogers

pink flowers in vase

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach.

--Will Rogers

black and white photography of alarm clock displaying 1:37 time

A man who dies without adequate life insurance should have to come back and see the mess he created.

--Will Rogers

yellow and black striped background

It will take America fifteen years of steady taking care of our own business and letting everybody else's alone, to get us back to where everybody speaks to us again.

--Will Rogers

light green

I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.

--Will Rogers

women's black and pink monokini

There will never be a time when the old horse is not superior to any auto ever made.

--Will Rogers

Arizona landscape

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

--Will Rogers

black bird flying under white clouds during daytime

See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails.

--Will Rogers

green tree under blue sky during night time

Every man gets an opportunity once in a lifetime.

--Will Rogers

shallow focus photography of white flowers

Every man is ignorant -- just on different subjects.

--Will Rogers

close-up photograph of black dreadnought acoustic guitar

People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.

--Will Rogers

woman in black shirt walking on sidewalk near brown concrete wall partition

There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.

--Will Rogers

green and white bird on black wire during daytime

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

--Will Rogers

photo of pine trees

President Coolidge said, 'I don't want the Government to go into business.' Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn't worry over that. The Government never has been accused of being a business man.

--Will Rogers




forest trees photograph

Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can't figure out.

--Will Rogers

red and yellow abstract painting

The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?

--Will Rogers

silhouette of mountains during sunset

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

--Will Rogers

landscape photo of mountain during nighttime

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

--Will Rogers

empty pathway

Never slap a man who is chewing tobacco.

--Will Rogers

Longer Version:

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. Never miss a good chance to shut up.


sunset

And if you call one a real estate agent and he won't sell you anything. He is a REALATOR. It's the same as what the old fashioned real estate agent used to be only the commission is different.

--Will Rogers


white clouds and blue sky during daytime

A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that seems handy all the time.

--Will Rogers

brown rugby ball

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

--Will Rogers

low angle photo of starry night

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

--Will Rogers

person standing on top of mountain

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

--Will Rogers

Longer Version:

lEven if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity's door if you ardently wish to enter.


black and gray textile in close up photography

Elections are a good deal like marriages. There's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with public officials.

--Will Rogers


white and blue building under clear sky

I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is -- they like to run their own business. I know men that would -make my wife a better husband than I am but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em.

--Will Rogers

black Corona typewriter on brown wood planks

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

--Will Rogers

woman doing yoga meditation on brown parquet flooring

Politicians are just a bunch of local bandits, sent by their local voters to raid the public treasury.

--Will Rogers

yellow flower field near bare trees during daytime

No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

--Will Rogers

black and white window illustration

A man that don't love a horse, there is something the matter with him.

--Will Rogers



black fawn pug playing with plush toy

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

--Will Rogers

band performing on stage in front of people

How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich, or just out of the poor, as usual?

--Will Rogers

woman looking up to the sky while standing on white sand

Farmers have more Associations, and Bureaus, and Clubs, than they have pitchforks.

--Will Rogers

low angle photography of purple sky

A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel.

--Will Rogers

four white balloons on white wall

There is a tremendous movement on to get lower taxes on earned incomes. Then will come the real problem, 'Who among us on salary are earning our income?'

--Will Rogers

orange moon during nighttime

People don't change under governments. Governments change. People remain the same.

--Will Rogers


silhouette of mountains under blue sky during daytime

Conferences are just like the poor and the Democrats, they will always be with us.

--Will Rogers

brown and gray brick wall

I have always said that a conference was held for one reason only, to give everybody a chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.

--Will Rogers

brown wooden board

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

--Will Rogers

brown wooden hanging bridge surrounded by green trees during daytime

Too many people spend money they earned to buy things they don't want to impress people that they don't like.

--Will Rogers

yellow sunflower in glass vase

There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.

--Will Rogers

white rose enclosed photograph

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

--Will Rogers

woman carrying baby while walking

Us middle class...never have to worry about having old furniture to point out to our friends. We buy it on payments and before it's paid for it's plenty antique.

--Will Rogers

green forest during daytime

Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.

--Will Rogers

closed white painted door with exit signage

Don't raise anything, except what fits your appetite. Then the price don't worry you. Just raise all you can eat and let the low prices go by.

--Will Rogers

clear hour glass

A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

--Will Rogers



silver bell alarm clock

Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

--Will Rogers

focus photo of a hummingbird on leaf

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

--Will Rogers


brown wooden hanging bridge surrounded by green trees during daytime

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

--Will Rogers

sunset with rainbow

It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.

--Will Rogers

foggy mountains

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

--Will Rogers

man riding on white horse on the hill

With all our crime and all our immorality ... and about as much contentment and respose as a fresh-caged hyena, we go to tell the whole world: we are the only one with the right idea!

--Will Rogers

brown and black tiger near body of water

The US is safest when Congress is in recess.

--Will Rogers

red tulips

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

--Will Rogers


high-angle photography of beach side

It's the greatest game I ever saw. You can't lose. Everybody buys to sell and nobody buys to keep. What's worrying me is who is going to be the last owner. It's just like an auction; the only one stuck is the last one.

--Will Rogers

three boys running on field

What the Secretary of Agriculture is trying to do is to teach the farmer corn acreage control, and the hogs birth control, and one is just as hard to make understand it as the other.

--Will Rogers

fan of 1 US dollar banknotes and coins on beige surface

Never miss a chance to shut up.

--Will Rogers


white pampas grasses near body of water at daytime

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

--Will Rogers

silhouette photo of couple standing on beach watching sunset

Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are.

--Will Rogers

fine trees waving

In Europe public men do resign. But here it's a lost art. You have to impeach 'em.

--Will Rogers

sunset with rainbow

You can't fool all of the people all of the time. But it isn't necessary.

--Will Rogers

white and blue building under clear sky

The Democrats are going to change the name of the Hoover Dam. That is the silliest thing I ever heard of in politics ... Lord if they feel that way about it, I don't see why they don't just reverse the two words.

--Will Rogers



purple-petaled flower on selective focus photography

That's the trouble with our charities; we are always saving somebody away off, when the fellow next to us ain't eating.

--Will Rogers

body of water under blue sky during sunset

I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian. That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday.

--Will Rogers

selective focus photo of iceberg on large body of water at winter

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

--Will Rogers

pink umbrella

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him father.

--Will Rogers


silhouette of man looking towards left

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

--Will Rogers

None

Government investigations have always contributed more to our amusement than they have to our knowledge.

--Will Rogers

pink and red flowers

Samuel Gompers has spent his life trying to keep labor from working too hard and has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

--Will Rogers

brown wallpaper

Shrewdness in public life all over the world is always honored, while honesty in public men is generally attributed to dumbness and is seldom rewarded.

--Will Rogers

green leaf in close up photography

Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out.

--Will Rogers

person in blue denim jeans and brown leather boots

If we could just go back the last two or three years and do our buying a little more carefully, why... we would be O.K.

--Will Rogers

black, purple, and orange basketball court beside concrete buildings at daytime

Senators are a never-ending source of amusement, amazement, and discouragement.

--Will Rogers

person looking at the milkyway

They used to take your horse and if they were caught they got hung for it. Now they take your car, and if they are caught it's a miracle.

--Will Rogers


brown rock formation on body of water during daytime

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

--Will Rogers


three clear glass cups

The good old horse-and-buggy days: then you lived until you died and not until you were run over.

--Will Rogers

woman holding brown umbrella

Many a politician wishes there was a law to burn old records.

--Will Rogers

purple flowered hedge plants

I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us, for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

--Will Rogers

three pink tulip flowers

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

--Will Rogers

aerial photography of mountain range covered with snow under white and blue sky at daytime

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

--Will Rogers


shooting star in night sky

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

--Will Rogers

person standing on rock beside body of water between green trees

The Republicans have their splits right after election and Democrats have theirs just before an election.

--Will Rogers

woman signing on white printer paper beside woman about to touch the documents

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this -- no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

--Will Rogers

purple textile in close up photography

Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much.

--Will Rogers

rainbow desert

When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that's all there is to success is satisfaction.

--Will Rogers

None

Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers.

--Will Rogers

brown wooden table clock at 10 10

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

--Will Rogers

yellow sunflower field under blue sky during daytime

The American people are a very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible, exception of stupidity.

--Will Rogers

close up photo of tree

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

--Will Rogers

Longer Version:

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.


silhouette of off-road car

If you feel the urge, don't be afraid to go on a wild goose chase. What do you think wild geese are for anyway?

--Will Rogers

brown wooden table clock at 10 10

I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it.

--Will Rogers

pink tulip in bloom close up photo

A president just can't make much showing against congress. They lay awake nights, thinking up things to be against the president on.

--Will Rogers

None

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

--Will Rogers

green trees on forest during daytime

Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human.

--Will Rogers

photography of white wall lot

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

--Will Rogers

pink tulips in clear glass vase

I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

--Will Rogers

A white stripe pattern made up of concrete facade ribs

The Republicans have a habit of having three bad years and one good one, and the good one always happens to be election years.

--Will Rogers

sunset

On prohibiting anybody from learning anything: Why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

--Will Rogers

smiling woman

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

--Will Rogers

woman jumping near white wall paint

We are always yapping about the 'Good Old Days' and how we look back and enjoy it, but I tell you there is a lot of hooey to it. There is a whole lot of all our past lives that wasn't so hot.

--Will Rogers

white stone woman sculpture

A liberal is a man who wants to use his own ideas on things in preference to generations who, he knows, know more than he does.

--Will Rogers

white and blue floral textile

All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

--Will Rogers

None

It rained in the Middle West. Farmers are learning that the relief they get from the sky beats what they get from Washington.

--Will Rogers

brown mountain at nighttime

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

--Will Rogers

green leafed tree on body of water under starry sky

Our country has plenty of five-cent cigars, but the trouble is they charge fifteen cents for them.

--Will Rogers


bird on pier

These dust storms.... Poor farmer spent a lifetime fixin' his farm and everything, goes out and looks down at it, and it's up above him.

--Will Rogers

road between yellow leaf trees at daytime

A vision, without a plan, is just a hallucination.

--Will Rogers

red textile on brown wooden table

Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.

--Will Rogers

person wearing orange and gray Nike shoes walking on gray concrete stairs

The South is dry and will vote dry. That is, everybody that is sober enough to stagger to the polls will.

--Will Rogers

black textile on white textile

We are sure living in a peculiar time. You get morefor not working than you will for working, and morefor not raising a hog than for raising it.

--Will Rogers


orange abstract painting

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

--Will Rogers

sunflower

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

--Will Rogers

blue and black abstract painting

Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.

--Will Rogers

shade under a green-leafed tree

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

--Will Rogers

brown mountains under blue sky

There is nothing fairer than workmen having unions of their mutual benefit.

--Will Rogers

red textile in close up photography

Mothers are the only race of people that speak the same tongue. A mother in Manchuria could converse with a mother in Nebraska and never miss a word.

--Will Rogers


Arizona landscape rain

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

--Will Rogers

lightning strike at night

Both political parties have their good times and bad times, only they have them at different times.

--Will Rogers

woman carrying baby while walking

Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Congress what they should do. Lobbyists tell'em what they will do.

--Will Rogers

silhouette of person jumping in mid air

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

--Will Rogers

round Timex analog clock at 2:33

Communism is like prohibition, it is a good idea, but it won't work.

--Will Rogers

woman carrying baby while walking

The old horse is coming back in a high lope. Thousands of people are riding a horse today that five years ago couldn't sit in a Ford with all the doors locked.

--Will Rogers

gold round wall clock on white painted wall

Every day you meet a delegation going to some convention to try and change the way of somebody else's life.

--Will Rogers

blue rose in close up photography

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.

--Will Rogers

silhouette of mountains during starry night

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.

--Will Rogers

pot on window with flowers

I was born because it was a habit in those days, people didn't know anything else.

--Will Rogers

yellow tulip flowers

In time of crisis people want to know that you care, more than they care what you know.

--Will Rogers

aerial view of green lake surrounded by green trees during daytime

The Supreme Court is divided almost in half on the decisions. Talk about an international court. How would we ever agree with a lot of foreigners when we can't even agree among our own judges?

--Will Rogers


blue textile on brown wooden table

The government says they have loaned over One Billion dollars to the Farmers. In other words, we can't help you make any money, but we will show you where you can owe some more.

--Will Rogers

person holding white book

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

--Will Rogers

purple and white petaled flower

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

--Will Rogers

aerial photo of foggy mountains

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

--Will Rogers

selective-focus photograph of gray bird on tree branch

You got to do more than just live in the country to be a Farmer.

--Will Rogers

selective photography of dried leaf

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

--Will Rogers

two clown fishes underwater

When everybody has got money they cut taxes, and when they're broke they raise 'em. That's statesmanship of the highest order.

--Will Rogers

pink and teal striped textile

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

--Will Rogers

orange lily in bloom close up photo

The business of government is to keep the government out of business -- that is, unless business needs government aid.

--Will Rogers

white smoke

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

--Will Rogers

blue, white, and pink petaled flowers on gray surface

There are two things that I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony and the other is a railroad timetable.

--Will Rogers

shillouette photo of person standing at the peak

The bankers just got a good cussing by everybody for loaning too much money. Well, they got some awful nice buildings. So when a banker fails, he fails in splendor.

--Will Rogers

a couple holding hands with a wedding ring visible

You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.

--Will Rogers

red textile in close up photography

Well, the disarmament conference is off to a flying start. There is nothing to prevent their succeeding now but human nature.

--Will Rogers

Arizona landscape

One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.

--Will Rogers

person wearing red jacket climbing on glacier

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

--Will Rogers

aerial's photo of metropolitan during night time\

Cattlemen have lost more in the last few years than anybody and say less about it.

--Will Rogers

white and blue ice in water

Rail-splitting produced an immortal president in Lincoln, but golf hasn't produced even a good Congressman.

--Will Rogers

silhouette of person wearing cowboy hat during sunset

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

--Will Rogers

sunflower field under white sky during daytime

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.

--Will Rogers

grass field under cloudy sky

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

--Will Rogers

white stars in the sky during night time

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

--Will Rogers


white wooden dock on white sand

You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible; and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!.

--Will Rogers

man and woman holding hand while walking on bridge

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

--Will Rogers

blue wallpaper

Take me ham away, take away my eggs, even my Chili, but leave me my newspaper.

--Will Rogers


closeup photo of lounger chairs and beach umbrellas

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

--Will Rogers

purple and white petaled flower

I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined or hard to check as a socially ambitious mother.

--Will Rogers


purple-petaled flowers

If we have Senators and Congressmen there that can't protect themselves against the evil temptations of lobbyists, we don't need to change our lobbies, we need to change our representatives.

--Will Rogers

white stone woman sculpture

Congress is going to start tinkering with the Ten Commandments just as soon as they find someone in Washington who has read them.

--Will Rogers

green trees under blue sky at daytime

Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.

--Will Rogers

beach during daytime

There are two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank.

--Will Rogers

girl leaning on wall during daytime

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

--Will Rogers

red yellow and blue paint

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

--Will Rogers

Arizona landscape

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to a select few.

--Will Rogers


bunch of tulips flower on wooden surface

If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier.

--Will Rogers

brown sand under blue sky during daytime

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

--Will Rogers

red flower in white background

What would we say if the Chinese sent a gunboat with their marines up the Mississippi River claiming they were protecting their laundries in Memphis?

--Will Rogers

white flowers in brown stem

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

--Will Rogers

brown and white bird on tree branch

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

--Will Rogers

pink, red, and black digital wallpaper

I maintain that it should cost as much to get married as to get divorced. Make it look like marriage is worth as much as divorce, even if it ain't.

--Will Rogers


solid background

I will never joke about old soldiers who try to get to reunions to talk over the war again. To talk of old times with old friends is the greatest thing in the world.

--Will Rogers

yellow and white painted wall

I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to.

--Will Rogers

wallpaper

The man that found the 726-carat diamond in Africa, received $350,000 for it and wants to buy a farm and silk hat. Well, I can understand a man perhaps being eccentric enough to want to own a silk hat.

--Will Rogers

solid color

There is not a better day in the world to be spent than with a lot of wise old cowmen around barbecued beef, black coffee and good "free holy" beans.

--Will Rogers


sun

I don't think either one of them knows what it's all about, to be honest with you. Both sides are doing nothing but just looking towards the next election.

--Will Rogers

green tree under blue sky during night time

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

--Will Rogers

silhouette of tall trees

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

--Will Rogers

person on road at sunset

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

--Will Rogers


white wooden hut during daytime

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

--Will Rogers

man playing soccer during daytime

Farmers have about given up hope of getting farm relief and have decided to fertilize instead.

--Will Rogers


pink rose in bloom close up photo

In the Middle West now you got to put a brand on your soil, then in the Spring go on a round-up looking for it.

--Will Rogers

three person looking stars and milky way

Man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

--Will Rogers

silhouette of mountains during starry night

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game -- it, and high taxes.

--Will Rogers

white stars cutout on black surface with red string

Plans get you into things, but you got to work your way out.

--Will Rogers

man in black and white striped shirt sitting on brown rock during daytime

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

--Will Rogers

long black haired woman smiling close-up photography

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

--Will Rogers

selective focus photo of woman holding sunflower surrounded by sunflowers

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.

--Will Rogers

mountains under starry sky during nighttime

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

--Will Rogers

person walking holding brown leather bag

Labor Day, I suppose set by an Act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by, or against, Acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about Labor is beyond us.

--Will Rogers

yellow pen

Funny to watch these Senators switching back and forth on Prohibition. Politics is a great character builder. You have to take a referendum to see what your convictions are for that day.

--Will Rogers

empty gray floor beside pool

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'

--Will Rogers

Arizona landscape

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.

--Will Rogers

solid color

I was born on Nov. 4, which is Election Day... my birthday has made more men, and sent more back to honest work, than any of the other days in the year.

--Will Rogers

pink flower

I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you.

--Will Rogers

woman in white shirt sitting on brown rock near lake during daytime

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

--Will Rogers

man in black jacket and black pants standing on brown rock formation during daytime

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

--Will Rogers


woman in white and black stripe long sleeve shirt standing beside brown concrete building during daytime

Foreign relations is an open book -- generally a checkbook.

--Will Rogers

three person looking stars and milky way

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.

--Will Rogers

solid background

Believe in something for another world, but don't be too set on what it is, and then you won't start out that life with a disappontment. Live your life so that whenever you lose you are ahead.

--Will Rogers

brown grass field under blue sky and white clouds during daytime

I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers; when they catch 'em from now on, they're going to publish their names.

--Will Rogers

brown rocky mountain under blue sky during daytime

Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.

--Will Rogers

grayscale photography of mountain surrounded by trees

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

--Will Rogers

sea during daytime

Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would 'pull you from this bog hole of financial misery.' Now is a good chance to get even with 'em, by electing 'em, just to prove what a liar they are.

--Will Rogers

solid background

Our whole Depression was brought on by gambling, not in the stock market alone but in expanding and borrowing and going in debt... all just to make some easy money quick.

--Will Rogers

black mountain under blue sky during night time

There is two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank.

--Will Rogers

man holding brown violin

We are all ignorant. We are just ignorant about different things.

--Will Rogers

pink and red flowers

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

--Will Rogers

white flowers

You know no nation has a monopoly on good things, each one has something that the others could well afford to adopt.

--Will Rogers

woman in blue denim jacket and black pants standing beside train

You never get a second chance to make a first impression.

--Will Rogers

black textile on white textile

There are two things I don't care how smart you are, you will never understand. One is an alienist's testimony, and the other is a railroad timetable.

--Will Rogers



woman in blue denim jacket and black pants standing beside train

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

--Will Rogers

gray cactus plant on white pot

You give us long enough to argue over something and we will bring you in proofs to show that the Ten Commandments should never be ratified.

--Will Rogers

rock mountain during starry night

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.

--Will Rogers


rock mountain during starry night

It takes a lifetime to build a good reputation, but you can lose it in a minute.

--Will Rogers

brown and white butterfly on purple petaled flower

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

--Will Rogers


fine trees waving

Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.

--Will Rogers

green trees

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

--Will Rogers

purple wallpaper

The farmers can be thankful. Didn't the Farm Board decide in Washington last week that they could have cheaper interest? All the farmers have to do now is to find something new to put up as security.

--Will Rogers

white and red flower with green leaves

Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste.

--Will Rogers

rock formation under starry skies

There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and central banking.

--Will Rogers

yellow flower

If Wall Street paid a tax on every "game" they run, we would get enough revenue to run the government on.

--Will Rogers


person cooking on seashore

Nothing you can't spell will ever work.

--Will Rogers

mountains under white clouds at daytime

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

--Will Rogers

yellow tulip flowers

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.

--Will Rogers

person wearing Apple watch

People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

--Will Rogers

white and blue floral textile

I wonder if it isn't just cowardice instead of generosity that makes us give tips.

--Will Rogers

silhouette of off-road car

Prosperity this Winter is going to be enjoyed by everybody that is fortunate enough to get into the poor farm.

--Will Rogers

brown and white dog in close-up photography

The country has gone sane and got back to horses.

--Will Rogers

four white balloons on white wall

There is nothing as easy as denouncing. It don't take much to see that something is wrong, but it does take some eyesight to see what will put it right again.

--Will Rogers


low angle photography of gray concrete building

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

--Will Rogers

man and woman kissing

Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.

--Will Rogers

green tree under blue sky during night time

The Schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

--Will Rogers

red rose in close up photography

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

--Will Rogers

Longer Version:

Parades should be classed as a Nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison. They stop more work, inconvenience more people, stop more traffic, cause more accidents, entail more expense, and commit and cause I don't remember the other hundred misdemeanors.


selective focus of common poppy flower

The only real diplomacy ever performed by a diplomat is in deceiving their own people after their dumbness has got them into a war.

--Will Rogers

brown grass field near gray rocky mountain during daytime

Personally, I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter...he's just got to know.

--Will Rogers

close-up photography of heart shaped fairy lite on brown sand

Any person that don't read at least one well-written country newspaper is not truly informed.

--Will Rogers

brown houses in front of hill under starry night

You know you've got to exercise your brain just like your muscles.

--Will Rogers

closed white painted door with exit signage

This session of Congress is also to relieve the farmer again, relieve him of any encouragement that he might have received during the last one.

--Will Rogers

brown mountain under starry sky

After seeing kids play polo against big guys, it only shows that horses are the greatest equalizer in the world. No matter what you weigh, the little fellow is your equal on a horse.

--Will Rogers

silhouette photo of mountain during night time

There is something about riding on a prancing horse that makes you feel like something, even when you aint worth a thing.

--Will Rogers

blue and white abstract painting

You can't legitimately kick on income tax, for it's on what you have made. You have already made it. But, look at land, farms, homes, stores, vacant lots. You pay year after year on them whether you make it or not.

--Will Rogers

beach shore during day time

There's no way in the world you're going to make a political party respectable unless you keep it out of office.

--Will Rogers

black textile in close up photography

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

--Will Rogers

sunset

Politics is applesauce.

--Will Rogers

silhouette photography of trees and sky

Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.

--Will Rogers

brown humming bird flying in mid air

You know, everybody's ignorant, just on different subjects.

--Will Rogers

four person standing beside wall

Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.

--Will Rogers

red and white led lighted heart decor

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

--Will Rogers

wall

Every time somebody has thought of relief for the farmer it has been to make it so he could borrow more money. What he needs is some way to pay back. Not some way to borrow more.

--Will Rogers

aerial's photo of metropolitan during night time\

It's one of the most progressive cities in the world. Shooting is only a sideline.

--Will Rogers


sunset

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.'

--Will Rogers


selective focus photo of four green humming birds with red flowers

Everyone is a self-made man. Only the successful admit it.

--Will Rogers

lighted candles on man's hand lying on the floor

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

--Will Rogers

person using laptop computer

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

--Will Rogers

white Starbuck plastic cup on brown fabric armchair

You shake a slogan at an American and it's just like showing a hungry dog a bone.

--Will Rogers

man in black pants sitting on chair

Everyone is ignorant only on different subjects.

--Will Rogers

time lapse photography body of water

The budget is a mythical bean bag. Congress votes mythical beans into it, and then tries to reach in and pull real beans out.

--Will Rogers

plain background

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

--Will Rogers

white stars in the sky during night time

Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.

--Will Rogers

landscape photography of brown mountains

I'm not against (bull fighting). Some nations like to see blood, and some like to see their victims suffer from speculation... They kill the bull very quick. Wall Street lets you live and suffer.

--Will Rogers

brown pathway between green plants

If you are trying to get out of the hole, stop digging.

--Will Rogers

green ceramic mug on wooden desk

Congress knew Coolidge would veto the farm bill. There was more politics than relief in that bill.

--Will Rogers


blue sky with white clouds

There is a fine breed for you, Irish-Indian. My family crest would be a Shillalah with a Tomahawk on one end.

--Will Rogers

blue sky with white clouds

Real estate is the best investment in the world because it is the only thing they're not making any more.

--Will Rogers

four handheld gardening tools on rack

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

--Will Rogers

Longer Version:

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else, but when it happens to you, why it seems to lose some of its Humor, and if it keeps on happening, why the entire laughter kinder Fades out of it.


two birds on flight

It looks like the financial giants of the world have bungled as much as the diplomats and politicians. This would be a great time in the world for some man to come along that knew something.

--Will Rogers


pink and yellow flower painting

You have to have a serious streak in you, or you can't see the funny side of the other fellow.

--Will Rogers

cat with flower

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

--Will Rogers

silhouette of man standing on hill during starry night

If all politicians fished instead of spoke publicly, we would be at peace with the world.

--Will Rogers

white pendant lamp

There's a simple solution to our traffic problems. We'll have business build the roads, and government build the cars.

--Will Rogers

yellow labrador retriever puppy sitting on floor

We do more talking progress than we do progressing.

--Will Rogers


blue sky with stars during night time

I haven't seen a tractor working all day. The country has gone sane and got back to horses. Farmers all look worse, but they feel better.

--Will Rogers


We wish you a perfect day!